New Plan
by setepenre-set
Summary: Since Megamind made Roxanne miss her appointment to get her hair trimmed, it's his fault that her hair keeps falling in her face. And since her hands are tied, it's not like she can pin her hair back herself. So obviously, as she points out, it's Megamind's responsibility to do it for her...which would be a dream come true, if he could just. figure out. how to work a bobby pin...
1. Chapter 1

"Oh, I give up," he hears Roxanne mutter to herself. She raises her voice. "Megamind, can you come here, please?"

Megamind, up to his elbows in the faulty mechanism of the Cumulous Accumulator, looks up at her in surprise. Roxanne, tied in her chair, looks back at him, an expression of annoyance on her face.

"—Miss Ritchi?" he asks.

"I need you to help me, please," she says, and Megamind is on his feet in an instant.

"What is it; what's wrong?" he says, crossing to her—it has to be important, if she's willing to ask him for help; is she hurt, is—

"Can you please get my damn hair out of my face?" she says, voice irritated, "It is driving me up the wall. Ugh, I hate when it gets this awkward length."

Megamind stares at Roxanne blankly. She narrows her eyes at him.

"And since it's your fault I missed my appointment to get it cut last week, I'm pretty sure I deserve a little assistance, Megamind, so don't even start with the evil laughter and the 'villains don't help captives' thing—"

"—ah?" Megamind manages to say, voice strangled.

A gust of wind blows another bit of Roxanne's hair across her eyes—up here on the roof of the Lair, it's rather windy, and Roxanne's hair is, she's correct, several centimeters longer than she usually wears it and what does she mean, she wants him to get her hair out of her face, what is—

Roxanne growls in frustration and tosses her head, trying ineffectually to flip her hair out of her eyes.

"Help," she hisses, and it's definitely more of a command than a plea.

"Um," says Megamind.

Roxanne glares at him from beneath the hair that's hanging in her face and it is impossibly sexy and—no no! Okay, he can do this, he can do this; it's not a big deal—

Right—aaaahhh right, okay—

Megamind starts to reach for her, then stops himself—there's machine oil on his gloves, from his attempts to fix the Cumulous Accumulator—

He unbuckles one glove, fumbling a little with the catch, and he feels himself flushing beneath Roxanne's gaze.

"N-no sense in getting you dirty, Miss Ritchi," he says, hoping like hell that she doesn't notice the way his voice shakes slightly.

He pulls the glove off and reaches hesitantly for her again.

She's—she's very close; he's standing over her and she's looking up at him, and he more than half expects her to pull away when he reaches out.

But she doesn't.

She doesn't pull away, and to his complete and utter shock, his fingertips brush across the skin of her forehead.

(He feels like he's dying.)

His skin is on her skin, and he stops breathing as he brushes Roxanne's hair to the side, memorizing this moment, memorizing the sensation of being allowed to touch her like this.

He's careful, as he sweeps her hair behind her ear, not to touch the beautiful pink sea shell curve of it.

(god, but he wants to touch; wants to draw his fingertip along the rim of her ear, wants to let his hand trail down the column of her throat and then across the line of her clavicle, wants—)

He tucks her hair back without touching her ear and steps away from her, trying to remember how to breathe.

Megamind turns quickly, intending to walk away, but—

Roxanne makes a sound of annoyance behind him. He looks back.

Her hair has fallen into her face again; she's glaring up at it and trying to blow it out of her eyes.

She catches him looking at her and gives him a wry grimace.

"Okay, new plan," she says, "there's bobby pins in my purse."

"…bobby pins," Megamind repeats, the world seeming to tilt beneath him at an alarming angle.

Oh evil gods, he's supposed to touch her again? He barely lived through it the first time; how is he meant to handle this?

"Bobby pins," Roxanne says, nodding. She waits a moment. "In my purse," she prompts.

"—in your purse," Megamind agrees, feeling lightheaded.

Megamind kneels, in a sort of daze, and reaches for the purse at Roxanne's feet. He looks up at her—does she seriously want him to—but she gestures at him impatiently with her shoulders, so he opens the purse.

"The little zipper part," Roxanne says, and, after some fumbling, Megamind manages to locate pocket she means.

"One pin should be enough," she says.

Megamind takes one of the pins from the pocket and zips the pouch back up. He stands.

All right. He can—he can handle this. Just—just like he did before, he'll sweep her hair out of her face and then he'll put in the pin. Easy. Simple.

…he's probably going to need two hands for this, isn't he.

Megamind takes off his other glove while Roxanne waits and watches, probably impatiently, and he tries to reassure himself that taking off his gloves while she watches is in no way inappropriate or anything like undressing, but he's not really convinced.

He tosses the gloves on the ground and steps close to her again, and, just like before, she tips her face up invitingly

(as if for a kiss—stop. stop thinking like that, Megamind.)

Megamind reaches for her and again a shock goes through him when she doesn't flinch away, when their skin touches.

He brushes her hair from her face and sweeps it to the side, then, holding it gingerly in place, brings the pin up with his other hand and—

—fumbles with it, trying to get it to slide into her hair. What. How is. What the hell—

The pin slips in his fingers and catches nothing. Megamind feels his face flare with embarrassed heat and Roxanne makes a choking sort of sound, as if she's trying not to laugh.

He tries again to—oh come on; it cannot be this hard to just pin someone's—okay, so maybe he needs to pry the little metal legs of the pin apart so it'll catch in her hair—

The pin pings out of his fingers and into the air; Megamind makes a noise of alarm and snatches for it, barely catching it. He manages it, just barely.

When he looks into Roxanne's face, she's clearly fighting not to laugh, her hair hanging in her eyes again.

Dear evil gods this is never going to end, is it? How does he get himself into these humiliating situations? You are a disgrace to supervillainy, Megamind; a disgrace.

He'd take comfort in the thought that at least it's only Roxanne, watching him struggle with this nonsense, but he would trade a crowd of critics gladly, if he could just stop looking like such a complete idiot in front of her.

Cursing fluently in his head, Megamind brushes Roxanne's hair across her brow yet again and, holding the metal legs of the pin slightly apart, slips it into—

The pin springs off his finger again and Megamind is unable to hold back from screaming under his breath in frustration.

And he has no idea where the damn thing landed, now, so—

Roxanne laughs.

Megamind goes perfectly still, feeling as if someone's sent an electric current straight up his spine and shorted out the synapses of his brain.

Roxanne throws her head back and leans against the back of the chair, and she laughs, and the sound is—

—oh god. it's the best sound ever.

Megamind stares at her while she laughs, as she tapers off into snickering, as she bites the side of her cheek to try to get herself under control.

"—ah, sorry," she says, lips quivering slightly, "I, uh—know you're having—trouble—and trying to help me—"

She sounds like she means the apology, like she really is worried that she might have offended him by laughing, and ordinarily the mere fact of Roxanne apologizing to him would be worth a week's worth of internal dithering at least to Megamind—

—but he doesn't give a single solitary damn that she was laughing at him; all he can think about is how incomprehensibly wonderful the sound of her laughter was and how much he wants to make her do it again.

Roxanne is biting her lower lip, now, looking uncertain, so he draws himself up, squaring his shoulders and lifting his chin in a parody of affronted dignity.

"Oh, yes, laugh it up, Miss Ritchi!" he exclaims. "Do you have any idea how difficult it is, trying to pin someone's hair for them when you've never had any of your own?"

Roxanne's eyes widen in surprise, and then crinkle at the corners, the edges of her lips starting to curve up.

"—fairly difficult, I imagine," she says, voice rich with amusement, and that's almost as good as a laugh.

"Incredibly difficult! A task of—sisyphean proportions—evil little—spring-y thingies—okay, I give up, Miss Ritchi; I have no idea where it landed; I'm afraid we're going to have to count that pin as a casualty—"

Roxanne laughs again and Megamind sneaks a pleased look at her as he bends to get another pin from her purse.

"That's okay; they cost like—one cent, each," she says. "Considering all of the hits my wardrobe has taken, evil-plan-wise, a bobby pin is nothing."

He looks up at her and rolls his eyes exaggeratedly.

"Sacrifices are inevitable in the quest for greatness, Miss Ritchi! You of all people should know that!"

She rolls her eyes back at him, but there's still a smile hiding at the corners of her mouth.

"Mm hm," she says, "Sacrifices like my favorite pair of stiletto pumps—why is it always my shoes that are the ones getting dropped in the alligator pit?"

"I wear sensible shoes, Miss Ritchi," Megamind tells her primly. "Shoes designed not to slip off at inopportune moments."

(he knows which pair of shoes she's talking about, of course; the loss of them really was a tragedy; they showed off the beautiful shape of her ankles phenomenally.)

Roxanne is still complaining:

"—comfortable and you could wear them to work or to a date; that is, if I ever had a date—"

Megamind glances up at her sharply, frowning.

"Your boyfriend doesn't take you on dates?" he asks in disbelief.

Roxanne's eyes go wide; a light flush spreads itself over her cheeks.

"Um," she says, and then hesitates, presses her lips together for a moment, as if deciding something.

"What boyfriend?" she asks, voice quiet.

Megamind blinks.

There is—a long silence, oddly charged.

What boyfriend? What is she playing at? He looks at her for a moment, trying to figure out her expression, and her eyes slide away from his, the blush on her cheeks deepening slightly.

Ooookay? Well.

He thinks about making one of his usual cracks about Metro Man, but—Megamind really doesn't want to talk about him, doesn't want to think about Roxanne dating that jerk, doesn't want to—he wants Roxanne to laugh again, wants to brush her hair out of her face once more.

(wants a lot more than that, but he'll take what he can get, as always, and hold it precious.)

Megamind clears his throat. He stands and moves to Roxanne again. She's still avoiding his eyes; he can't think why, so he gestures at the pin in his hand, the movement deliberately overdramatic, wanting to get her attention, wanting to make her smile.

"Is there some sort of…arcane coiffure secret to this," he says, pulling a face, "or do you normally just stab wildly and hope for the best?"

His plan works; she glances up at him again, her eyes dancing with amusement.

(oh god; she looks even more beautiful than normal, like this)

"'Arcane coiffure secret'," she scoffs, shaking her head. "It's just a bobby pin."

Megamind arches an eyebrow at her pointedly, and she grins.

"Okay, okay!" she says, "—so first off, you're going to want to turn the pin over so that the grooves are on bottom."

Megamind frowns again and turns the pin over.

"Why—?"

"The grooves are there to keep the pin from sliding out of your hair once it's in," Roxanne says. "It holds better like that."

Megamind groans.

"You mean even if I miraculously manage to get this thing in your hair, there's still a chance it's going to fall right out again?" Megamind asks, throwing her a look of horror.

Roxanne snickers.

"Yeah, but you should be good if the grooves are on the bottom," she says. "All right, show me how you're holding the pin—okay, no, you're pushing the sides of it too far apart, that's why it keeps jumping out of your hand like that. Just—yeah, gently…"

Megamind holds the pin with careful awkwardness.

This would have been so much simpler if he just untied Roxanne's hands and let her do this herself.

(he's been expecting Roxanne to point this out, this entire time; he's terribly surprised, really, that she hasn't)

Megamind sweeps Roxanne's hair aside and—slips the pin into her hair.

He blinks at it in shock for a moment—holy shit, he actually did it?!

"Success!" he says, "Ha! Take that, stupid impossible pin thing!"

Roxanne laughs a little and Megamind feels like his heart has gone all warm and golden.

He wishes, suddenly, absurdly, that he hadn't managed to do it. He could have touched Roxanne's hair again, at least one more time.

(no. no no no. he is not—going to be any—creepier about his obsession with Roxanne than he can help)

Megamind's fingers curl in to his palm, remembering the warmth of Roxanne's skin, the silken-softness of her hair.

"…you're staring; do I look weird?" Roxanne asks.

"You look beautiful," Megamind says automatically, before he can think better of it.

Roxanne's eyes go round—shitshitshitshit—

"You must rate your skills as a hairdresser pretty high," she says.

"No, you're just always beautiful," Megamind blurts out because things weren't bad enough already. "I—! You—! I mean—aaaahhh—that's not—!"

Roxanne's eyebrows are climbing higher and higher and fuck him; it's moments like these that Megamind reeeeally wishes that the science behind the reset button hadn't turned out to be impossible because dear god if he could just erase the last twelve seconds or so of his existence that would be superb—

Megamind finally shuts himself up by dint of actually physically biting his tongue; the edges of Roxanne's lips are trembling again, like she isn't sure if she wants to laugh or not, and she's staring at him, her eyes wide.

Downstairs, in the Lair, something audibly crashes.

Sheer relief floods Megamind's entire body.

"—excuse me," he says, and flees.

* * *

...to be continued.


	2. Chapter 2

Megamind draws his de-gun as he slips silently down the roof stairs and down one of the ladders to the lower floor. Minion and the brainbots are in position for the scheduled attack, half-way across town, and Megamind hasn't even called Metro Man out yet, so there's no reason for anyone to be in the Lair. Probably it's just a brainbot, back home against orders, or maybe Minion sent one to check what's taking Megamind so long with the Cumulus Accumulator.

The new communicator watches should be working, but it's possible they're malfunctioning, in which case, Minion might have sent a bot—

Megamind springs out from behind the bulk of an old battlesuit, de-gun at the ready, and finds—

"What are you doing here?" he blurts out.

Metro Man whirls dramatically.

" _You!_ " he says.

Megamind gives him an unimpressed look and keeps the de-gun trained on him (it won't actually do anything if he shoots Metro Man with it, but he finds it reassuring anyway).

"Yeah, me," he says sarcastically. "Wow. What a shock. I live here; what are you doing here?"

Metro Man looks shifty for a moment, and then his expression firms up into one of his looks of Heroic Determination.

"Stopping you!"

Megamind thinks fast.

(shit; the Cumulus Accumulator isn't even close to ready; this evil plot is going nowhere; he's going to get arrested with nothing to show for it, and it's going to be embarrassing—)

"…stopping me from doing what?" Megamind says.

Metro Man hesitates.

"…evil," he says, but for once, it lacks conviction.

 _(wait, is this lie actually working?)_

"I thought we agreed," Megamind says with a glare, "that, in exchange for me giving you fair warning for my attacks, you wouldn't come into the Lair except during evil plots. What are you doing in my house? _Wayne_." he adds, viciously, and Metro Man flinches at the use of his name.

"Okay, okay, okay!" he says, throwing his hands up, "I was bored and I heard Roxy's voice coming from here, all right? So I'm early for the Evil Plot, I guess! You don't have to make a big deal out of it."

"There isn't any evil plot," Megamind says quickly.

(really, the Cumulus Accumulator plan is a bust, but hopefully he can get through this without getting sent to jail)

Metro Man blinks at him, then narrows his eyes suspiciously.

"What's Roxy doing here, then?" he asks.

 _(shit)_

"She's not," Megamind says.

He holsters the de-gun, attempting nonchalance.

Metro Man's eyes narrow further.

"I heard her voice," he insists.

"I don't know what you think you heard," Megamind says. "But Miss Ritchi is not here."

Metro Man looks at him hard for a long moment.

Megamind stares back.

For a second, Megamind thinks that his poker stare will work well enough to get rid of Metro Man. But—

"I know what I heard," Metro Man says.

He shoves Megamind aside; Megamind stumbles a little, almost falling.

 _(damn; should he try to escape, or gamble on Metro Man forgetting the roof?)_

"Don't panic, Roxy! I'm here to save you!"

Hellfire and damnation. Well; there's no way Roxanne hasn't heard the moron bellowing for her. Megamind resigns himself to another trip to prison. She'll shout back to Metro Man in a moment, and the gig will be up.

"Roxy! Roxy, can you hear me? Roxy, where are you?"

Megamind blinks, tips his head in confusion, then moves to follow after Metro Man.

Okay, that's weird; why isn't Roxanne answering? She has to have heard the hero calling for her.

(is she—she can't be hurt and unable to answer, can she? He left her less than two minutes ago and she was fine, surely she can't have gotten seriously injured in that short an amount of time—)

"What have you done to her?" Metro Man demands, turning on Megamind.

( _I pushed her hair out of her face and made her laugh_ , Megamind thinks.)

"Nothing," he says. "I haven't done anything to her. Notice how she's not here."

Metro Man stops in the middle of the (clearly Miss-Ritchi-less) Lair, an expression of confusion on his face.

 _(yes, yes; good—)_

"The roof!"

 _(damn it)_

Megamind glances at the exit; it's reasonably close; he might be able to make it if he bolts suddenly—

Metro Man seizes his arm in a tight grip, then yanks him off his feet as they fly up the staircase to the roof. Megamind tries to twist away, to absolutely no avail.

God damn it; he came so close to getting away with—

"—Roxy?" Metro Man says.

Megamind looks around the roof, blinking in confusion.

There's the Cumulus Accumulator, and his tools, and there's Roxanne's chair. But Roxanne is nowhere to be seen.

"Where is she?" Metro Man says.

"—how am I supposed to know? I told you she's not here!"

He tries to pull his arm away again; this time it works. Megamind glares at Metro Man and straightens the high points of his collar.

"…oh," says Metro Man.

He looks at the Cumulus Accumulator, and again an expression of suspicion comes over his face.

"What's that?" he asks.

Megamind's lip curls.

"Broken," he says. "I brought it up here to fix it because it's a nice day and I wanted to enjoy the weather. Is that all right with you, hero?"

"…oh," says Metro Man again.

There's a long awkward silence. Megamind uses it to think furiously about where Roxanne might be.

(she must have escaped while he was gone, then slipped down the stairs and out of the Lair while he was talking to Metro Man. odd that she didn't wait for her boyfriend to rescue her, but…maybe she's annoyed with him? that comment she made about 'what boyfriend'; maybe they're fighting?)

"…I really thought I heard her voice," Metro Man says sheepishly.

"Uh-huh," Megamind says, "Yeah. You mentioned."

Another awkward silence ensues.

"So, uh," Metro Man says, "where's Minion and your little robots?"

"Minion took the brainbots out for some exercise," Megamind lies smoothly. "They get bored without anything to do."

Metro Man laughs in a would-be chummy way.

"Ha, ha; yeah—I've been really bored, lately, too, you know, and—"

"—and so you decided to harass me for entertainment," Megamind says, voice caustic. "Tell me, have you ever thought about getting a _hobby_?"

Metro Man opens his mouth, probably to protest, then closes it again, looking thoughtful.

"A hobby," he says, eyes suddenly far away. "I could—I could get a hobby. That could be—fun. Right? That could be fun! What kind of hobby?"

( _I don't actually care?_ Megamind refrains from saying. _Why would I care?_ )

"Take up golf," he suggests at random, "Start a stamp collection. Learn an instrument. Please go away."

"—an instrument," Metro Man says, eyes lighting up. "I did always want to learn to play the guitar—"

"Fantastic," Megamind says. "That's great. Start right away. Go. Go now."

"Yeah—yeah! Hey, thanks, buddy!" Metro Man says, grinning happily, "I owe you one!"

"…yes," Megamind agrees, "yes, you do. And also you owe me for breaking our agreed-upon rules and breaking into the Lair during a non-evil-plot time, so that's two more Get Out of Jail Free cards or equivalent favors that you owe me now, yeah, okay, _ciao_!"

Metro Man flies off at last and Megamind sags with relief.

The moron didn't notice the ropes Roxanne left behind with her chair. Or—

Megamind bends and picks up the bobby pin from the rooftop.

So that's where it landed.

He twirls the little piece of metal between his thumb and forefinger and sighs, rubbing his other hand over his face.

Well. Today is definitely a loss.

He shouldn't be so completely disappointed that Roxanne has disappeared; there's a silver lining to this: Metro Man owes him two favors now, and he didn't have to go to jail! But—

His mouth twists and he curls his fingers over the pin. Stupid. Just because she happened to let him touch her without screaming, his idiotic brain thought they were having a nice time together.

As though she could ever be having a nice time, with him around. Of course she took the first opportunity to escape.

He glares at the Cumulus Accumulator as though it's to blame for his ridiculous feelings. He's done trying to fix the damn thing, he decides. He'll take it apart for scraps; he doesn't need it. He's got plenty of smoke machines, and he can come up with a different way to produce homemade lightning.

Megamind moves down the stairs, then climbs down the ladder into the empty Lair, Roxanne's pin still in his hand. He sighs again, then jumps as the watch on his wrist crackles to life.

 _"Sir?"_ Minion's voice comes through loud and clear. (At least something he built works, Megamind thinks bitterly.) _"Is everything going all right? The brainbots are getting a little antsy—"_

"I'm afraid we're going to have to cancel the Evil Plot for today, Minion," Megamind says, "The Cumulus Accumulator is completely nonfunctional."

 _"—oh, no. I'm sorry, Sir,"_ Minion says. _"I can hold the brainbots a little longer if you want to try to fix it—"_

"No, no," Megamind says, walking towards his bedroom, "no point. Miss Ritchi already escaped and then Metro Man showed up." He opens his bedroom door.

 _"You already fought Metro Man?"_ Minion says, sounding concerned.

"No," Megamind says, closing the bedroom door behind himself and pulling off his cape and shoulder guards. "No, I put him off. I pretended that there wasn't any evil plan for today. And since Miss Ritchi had already disappeared, he believed me."

 _"—Sir, Miss Ritchi—"_

"—knows the location of the Lair now, yes," Megamind says. "Unfortunately."

 _"We're going to have to move, aren't we?"_

Megamind grimaces.

"Possibly not," he says. "There's a chance I may be able to—strike a bargain with her. Certain no-kidnapping-allowed days in exchange for her silence about the location of Evil Lair, something like that…she is always complaining about the disturbances to her schedule, so that might be sufficient—I'll approach her about it tomorrow."

 _"The brainbots and I will head home, Sir,"_ Minion says.

"No," Megamind says, remembering his lie, "I told Metro Man that you took them out for exercise; there's a chance he'll be checking up on that—take them to the old strip mine and let them play. And you—you relax too, Minion. You deserve a break."

 _"What are you going to do, Sir?"_

Megamind puts Roxanne's hair pin down on the bedside table and rubs a hand over his face again.

"—I think I might take a nap," he says tiredly.

 _"Really, Sir?"_ Minion sounds far too excited about this. _"That's good; I told you this morning, you haven't been sleeping enough—"_

"—which is probably why the Cumulus Accumulator wound up a piece of useless junk," Megamind says. "Yes, yes, I know. I'll take a nap. You take care of the brainbots."

 _"You got it, Sir!"_

Megamind breaks the connection, then turns the communicator off entirely. He unstraps it from his wrist and tosses it down on the bedside table, next to—

Roxanne's pin.

Damn it. Damn his stupid heart.

(a full sense memory of what it felt like, touching her hair, sweeps through him, making his entire body flush hot.)

He takes his de-gun from its holster and puts it on the bedside table, too, then sits on the edge of his bed and pulls off his boots, tosses them into the corner. Twisting his arms behind his back, he unzips his shirt, and peels it off.

He isn't wearing his protective undersuit today; he was running late this morning and forgot it. He almost forgot his boots, too, actually, and he nearly poked his own eye out, trying to apply his eyeliner in a hurry; that was what prompted Minion's comment about his sleep schedule.

Definitely a good thing he got rid of Metro Man without a fight today. And he really should sleep…

He tosses his shirt onto the floor and lies back on the mattress, fingers trailing idly up and down his own torso.

—Roxanne's face, tilted up to his, laughter in her eyes and that beautiful, fascinating curve to her mouth as she smiled—the texture of her skin beneath his fingertips and the silkiness of her hair as he brushed it aside—like he—like would have done if he'd been about to lean down to kiss her—

…maaaybe he doesn't need to _sleep_ right away.

The motion of his fingertips brushing over his own abdomen slows. He bites his lip, torn between guilt and wanting.

He'll—he might sleep better anyway, if he—

"Hey, Megamind, sorry but—"

Megamind _screams_ and _launches himself out of the bed_ ; trips over his own feet and lands hard in a sprawl on the floor at Roxanne's feet.

 _Roxanne_ , who is _here_. Roxanne who is _in his bedroom_. Roxanne who is standing with her hand still on the handle of the closet door, half in and half out of the closet still, looking down at him.

"—uh," she says.

Megamind makes an extremely undignified noise, a sort of strangled screech.

"WHAT?! YOU—WHAT?!" he manages.

Roxanne stares at him for a long moment, neither of them moving—and then she claps a hand over her mouth as she breaks into a peal of laughter.

"Oh—oh my god—" she says. "Oh my god; I'm so sorry—"

"—what!—what—are you—what are you doing in my bedroom?!"

"Well, I…got lost," Roxanne says, waving a hand, "after I got out of the ropes, and I heard you talking to Metro Man, so I hid."

She shrugs dismissively, as if hiding in a supervillain's bedroom closet is an entirely reasonable thing to do.

Megamind makes a small, choked noise and attempts locate his shirt.

(Roxanne! is in his bedroom! and he's half naked and he wants to die oh god oh god)

"Now you know how it feels when people break into your house and jump out at you, Megamind," Roxanne says, amusement in her voice.

Megamind, struggling to turn his shirt right-side out, looks up at her in outrage and then promptly forgets how to speak.

(Roxanne is in his bedroom and he's shirtless and and there's too much of his skin on display she's looking at him like that and smiling and how is he supposed to function?)

"—I have—never jumped out of your _bedroom closet_ at you, Miss Ritchi!" he manages to say, after his mouth opens and closes a few times like he's a non-sentient fish. "That was—just— _uncalled for!_ "

Roxanne laughs again, her eyes still on him, and ah, yes, this is it; this is how he dies.

"I see now why you're always trying to get me to scream," she says, smirking at him. "That was _fun_."

Megamind feels his face go hot so fast he ends up dizzy. Oh god; he's blushing all the way down his entire torso; he can feel it.

"Yes, yes," he mutters, still desperately attempting to sort out his shirt, "I screamed. That's what—we mere mortals tend to do when someone leaps out at us from our bedroom closet without warning; we can't all have nerves of steel like you!"

"My my, Megamind," Roxanne drawls in a voice like sex and honey. "Did you just call me a goddess?"

He looks up at her, eyes wide, breath caught in his throat. She's still smirking at him, but there's a wicked edge to it now that he's never seen before and—

"—'mere mortals'," she says, raising her eyebrows and shit, oh shit, he did say that, didn't he?

He makes a small, terrified sound in the back of his throat and scrabbles blindly for the sleeves of his shirt, unable to look away from Roxanne, from her looking down on him, and suddenly he's terribly conscious of the fact that he's on his knees in front of her.

"Maybe you should leave it," Roxanne says, her eyes fixed on his.

"Wh—what—?"

"The shirt," Roxanne says, still not breaking his gaze. "You seem to be struggling an awful lot with it; maybe you should leave it off."

Megamind's jaw drops.

Did—did she seriously just suggest—?

The shirt falls from his suddenly numb fingers.

Roxanne takes a sharp little breath when the fabric slithers to the floor, and for a moment they just stay like that, perfectly still, Megamind on his knees staring up at Roxanne; Roxanne looking down at him.

"Did you mean it, when you said that I was pretty, Megamind?" Roxanne asks softly.

Megamind's heart jumps in his chest like lightning.

"—beautiful," he says, voice shaking. "Didn't—say pretty. I—said beautiful."

Roxanne's lips curve slowly upwards, eyes going warm with something that looks like pleasure.

"And did you mean it?" she asks.

Megamind swallows. His skin feels like it's on fire and he couldn't look away from Roxanne now if he tried.

(he doesn't want to try. he never wants to look away from her. he never wants to see anything else.)

"Yes," he says. "Yes, I meant it."

Roxanne's expression goes gloriously triumphant; in the half-second it takes her to cross the distance between them, Megamind thinks disjointedly that he's never seen her look more like an evil queen.

The pin he put in her hair glints in the light and then her hands are on his face and she's leaning down and—

His first thought is that he's dreaming.

Well—actually—his _second_ thought is that he's dreaming. His _first_ thought, as Roxanne presses her lips to his, is a hot, chaotic surge of _yes/please/more._

His _third_ thought is that he can't _possibly_ be dreaming because no matter how magnificent his brain is, it could never come up with anything even close to _this_.

He brings his hands up to Roxanne's shoulders and clings to her and tries desperately to respond, to give her what she wants, whatever she wants, if only she'll just keep kissing him a little longer.

Incredibly, she does, her mouth sweet and slick and hot over his. She pulls him to his feet, still kissing him, her hand beneath his chin as she parts his lips with her tongue and licks into his mouth and Megamind's knees are so weak that he can barely stand. Roxanne presses forward, pushing him, and he steps backwards in response. The backs of his knees hit the foot of the bed and Roxanne pushes him.

He tumbles backwards onto the bed, sprawled out in front of her, looking up at her in shock.

Her mouth is red and she licks her lips, eyes raking up his body and Megamind can't stop himself from whimpering.

She moves forward again, onto the bed, knees on the mattress between his legs and Megamind scrabbles back automatically because oh god oh god—

"Ah-ah-ah," she says, pushing him down on the bed, catching his wrists in her hands and pinning them to the mattress above his head. "Stay."

"Oh god," Megamind gasps, and this must be the response Roxanne was looking for, because her lips curl up into that predatory smirk again, the one that twists his insides up and makes his spine feel like it's turned to liquid.

Roxanne looks at him for a moment, hands holding his wrists in place, and he could break her grasp easily, but—oh god Roxanne telling him stay in that tone; he can't—

She lets go of his wrists and sits up, looking incredibly pleased with herself, and Megamind shivers and leaves his arms over his head, his hands where she pressed them to the bed.

"Good boy," she says, and Megamind gulps, feeling his skin flush even hotter than before.

Roxanne looks him up and down and he has to press his wrists hard to the mattress to keep himself from squirming on the bed, to keep himself from turning away from her gaze.

God—oh god—he's never been—looked at, before, like this; it's hard to bear, really, having Roxanne look at him when he's—this aroused.

He can feel his heartbeat throbbing between his legs; the sensitive skin of his throat and shoulders feels hot and achy with how much he wants Roxanne to touch him there. His ears are on fire, his heartbeat throbbing there as well, and his nipples are hard and straining, which feels horribly embarrassing.

Roxanne reaches down and rolls one between her fingers.

Megamind hears himself make an inhuman sound; his hips jerk up and his back arches.

Roxanne makes a noise of satisfaction and bends down to press her lips to his chest and Megamind makes another of those alien sounds; a whirring in the back of his throat.

She kisses her way down his chest, open-mouthed kisses that make him pant—god, the heat of her mouth; he feels like he's melting on her tongue. She kisses his hipbone, then slides the tip of her tongue along the edge of it and Megamind cries out, pushing his wrists hard into the mattress to stop himself from reaching for her because she told him to stay—

"—w-wait," he manages to gasp out.

Roxanne looks up at him, an inquiring expression on her face.

(god, what is he doing, stopping her; is he insane? he's wanted this, wanted _her_ , for years. but—)

"—it's not that I'm not sincerely appreciative of—um—but I really think you need to take a moment to consider what you're doing right now, Miss Ritchi, because if you don't I suspect you're really going to regret it and I'd much prefer that you—"

Roxanne frowns.

"What are you talking about?" she asks.

Megamind squeezes his eyes shut momentarily for strength.

"I mean, I'm assuming based on the comment you made about—Metro Man—earlier, and the fact that you hid from him after escaping, that you're maybe a little annoyed with him at the moment, but—he is—your boyfriend, Miss Ritchi, and—"

Roxanne sits up, frown deepening.

"Wait, hold on—" she says. "You still think…?"

"—I—I just don't want you to hate me," Megamind says in a small voice, "m-more than you already do, I mean—"

"Hate you?" Roxanne says, sounding baffled. "Megamind, what—and—and didn't we—didn't we already have the whole—boyfriend conversation?"

"…boyfriend? conversation?" Megamind says.

"Yeah, when you said something about my 'boyfriend' and I said 'what boyfriend', because I…don't have…a boyfriend? Oh my god," she says, "Did—did you really not get that?"

(she's not dating…?)

"—okay, but the concern about you regretting this still stands if you're doing it to get back at him after a break up," Megamind spits out, the words like poison in his mouth, but he can't let her—he doesn't want to be something Roxanne is going to regret.

"Oh, no," Roxanne says, passing a hand over her face for a moment, "oh—Megamind, no. You are—entirely off base with the—Wayne and I didn't break up, okay? We were never dating in the first place."

Megamind stares at her.

"What," he says flatly.

"I—I thought— You didn't…? I thought you at least _suspected_ ," Roxanne says, gesturing a little wildly. "All of the sarcastic remarks about him being my 'boyfriend', and—"

"What."

"Oh god, no wonder I could never get you to make a move, no matter how hard I flirted!" Roxanne says.

Megamind feels like his eyes are going to fall out of his head, they're so wide.

"…how hard you flirted?" he croaks.

"Uh, yeah," Roxanne says, "did—did you _not_ _notice the flirting?!_ "

"—I mean, I always figured it was an assertion of dominance thing," Megamind says, stunned. "That's—usually what it is, when people pretend to flirt with me. That, or they're trying to get something from me…"

"Oh my god," Roxanne says. " _Pretending_ to flirt? Megamind—I have never _pretended_ to flirt with you." Her eyes go round with horror. "Oh, no—is—is that what you were doing? Pretending—the—assertion of dominance—"

"No!" Megamind blurts out. "No, I—no. I never—I never pretended, either," he says, heart beating hard against his ribs.

Roxanne looks at him, face still uncertain.

"I told you," he says, "I—I meant it."

Roxanne bites her lip and Megamind feels his face heat again. He glances away awkwardly.

"…I was really going for the whole smooth seduction thing, here, but I think I missed," Roxanne says.

Megamind looks at her once more; she's smiling crookedly, a blush on her cheekbones, too. It's unreasonably gorgeous.

"I'm not—um—not averse—" Megamind gulps, "—to—b-being seduced."

Roxanne's smile goes shy and surprised—oh—oh; she's too—she's too beautiful—

"I'm just—not really sure why you're doing this?" Megamind says, and then wants to bite his own tongue off.

(why is he asking questions; Roxanne is in his bedroom, in his bed, offering to seduce him and Megamind has to start asking questions like an idiot)

"Didn't we—? I told you," Roxanne says, frowning a little, "I've wanted to for a long time."

(and that doesn't make sense, but he needs to stop asking questions before she changes her—)

"Yes, but _why?_ " Megamind asks, unable to stop his voice from rising in his complete and utter bafflement. "You don't like me!"

Roxanne stares at him, looking taken aback.

(and there it went; he's ruined it, she's—)

"I don't flirt with people I don't like, Megamind," she says slowly. "I—don't you get—?"

Megamind, still on his back looking up at her, shakes his head wildly in denial of what he is hearing.

"…okay," she says, "okay, um—let's just shelve the question of—seduction for a minute and—"

Megamind flinches.

"Could you just—come here? Please?" Roxanne says.

He sits up slowly, carefully, watching Roxanne warily. She bites her lip and reaches out to take both of his hands in hers. Megamind's hands jerk involuntarily at the unexpected contact and Roxanne laces their fingers together. She looks down at their joined hands and takes a breath, then looks up at him.

"I really like you, Megamind," she says, looking nervous but determined. "I have for a long time. You're—fun to be around and you're smart and you're so genuinely sweet and you're absolutely gorgeous and you're—staring at me and this is probably really weird and out of nowhere for you; I should have thought this out better, but god, I've wanted to kiss you for ages and you said you thought I was pretty and so I just—"

"—beautiful."

"—what?"

"I told you," Megamind says, scarcely aware of what he's saying, "I didn't say pretty. I said beautiful."

Roxanne's eyes go wide; she looks more than nervous, now; she actually looks almost afraid.

"—I really want to date you," she blurts out.

* * *

 _...to be continued._


	3. Chapter 3

Megamind stares at Roxanne.

actually.

 _stares_ is….

…probably not a strong enough word.

— _boggles_.

Yes. Megamind _boggles_ at Roxanne.

It's most likely not his most visually appealing expression, because Roxanne sort of flinches and her eyes flick away from his face before darting back.

"Um," she says, "It's—it's okay if you don't want to date me, obviously; it's not something that you need to feel pressured about, and even if you don't, the—" she gives him an uncertain smile that trembles slightly around the edges, "—the seduction thing is—still definitely an option—"

"No, no!" Megamind blurts out, "I mean—no!—I mean, yes, I—I mean—yes I want to date you Roxanne oh god help—"

She takes a sharp breath, her fingers tightening over his, color blooming gloriously in her cheeks like roses and she's too beautiful for words how can this possibly be real?

Megamind makes an undignified and involuntary noise, a cross between a squeak and a croak.

"—are you really sure you want to date me?" he asks in near-hysterical disbelief. "I mean I'm—you know—"

He has to let go of one of her hands to gesture wildly, vaguely, at himself.

"You _know_ how what I'm like," he says helplessly.

Roxanne catches his fluttering hand and gives a soft, affectionate laugh.

"Yeah," she says, "I do know what you're like, Megamind. That's—that's _why_ I want to date you."

She brushes a kiss across his knuckles and Megamind's breath catches.

"Oh," he says, rather inarticulately.

Roxanne smiles at him and releases his hand, reaching out to cup his face instead as she leans forward to kiss him.

This kiss—it isn't like the kiss earlier. Oh, it has all the same components, of course, and it knocks his mental processes for the same sort of loop as the kiss before, but it's—gentle, and that—the gentleness of it—it's even harder to understand than the passion of the first kiss, even more difficult to know how to respond to—

Roxanne breaks the kiss, leaves her hands on his face as she pulls away enough to look into his eyes.

There's an odd, unreadable expression on her face—oh no; he's done something wrong, hasn't he—

"…you've never been kissed before, have you?" she murmurs.

Megamind winces.

"That obvious?" he mutters, his hands balling into fists on his thighs, his eyes avoiding Roxanne's.

"No," she says, and he makes a face because she's clearly lying, "no, I—I mean I can tell, yeah, but—" she strokes her thumbs over his cheekbones soothingly and he meets her gaze again "—but it's not a bad thing."

Megamind gives her an unconvinced look.

"Really," she says, voice and eyes soft, "I—I'm just feeling a little bad, now, about earlier; I didn't know that was your first kiss and it was probably kind of—"

"—perfect?" Megamind says, reaching up to touch his fingertips lightly to her cheek.

Roxanne's eyes go round and he feels the heat rise to her skin this time as she blushes—oh, wow, that is a fascinating sensation and definitely one he wants to explore further—

"—um—I mean I sort of…" she says, "pounced on you and—"

"—swept me off my feet?" Megamind says.

He feels her blush deeper and, feeling terribly daring, arches an eyebrow and does his best to give her his most wicked smirk. Her gaze drops to his mouth and his stomach flips over.

"Please feel free not to apologize for that," he says, and bites his lip, still smirking.

"Oh, that is not fair," Roxanne says breathlessly, and kisses him again, hard and fast and forceful.

Megamind lets his eyes flutter shut and melts into the kiss.

She kisses him like it's a conquest and he is more than willing to be conquered. He moves closer when she pulls him forward, parts his lips for her when she flicks her tongue over them, and when she breaks the kiss and pushes him down on the bed, he obediently lets himself fall backwards.

"You," Roxanne says in a frustrated tone, hovering over him, one hand planted on his chest, as if to hold him in place, "you are—unfairly sexy and it is unfair."

Megamind laughs, startled.

"If you say so," he says, and looks up at her through his lashes.

Roxanne's eyes narrow and she growls at him under her breath and—holy hell—that sends a shiver up his spine in a pleasurable thrill.

"I am trying to go slow and be gentle with you, and you are being difficult," she says, half-laughing, half-scolding,

"I'm always difficult," he says, and, remembering how well it worked the last time, bites his lip at her again.

She makes a noise that's half growl and half laughter and she bends over him—and then she stops, blinking, understanding dawning in her expression.

"You're doing it on purpose," she says, frowning. "Aren't you? You're trying to get me to be rough."

"I—"

She straightens up, frowning at him.

(damn damn damn why does she always have to be so damn smart—)

"—yes," Megamind admits.

"Why?" Roxanne asks, still frowning. "Why don't you want me to be gentle with you?"

"It's—it's not that I don't want—" Megamind flounders for words for a moment, trying to figure out how to explain this, "—it's not that I don't—want that, it's just that it's—easier, um. For me to figure out how to respond—it's easier for me to—to t-tell what you want?…the other way."

He looks up at her, not sure if he's making sense, not sure if this is weird or somehow bad.

Roxanne's frown clears and she rubs her thumb over his sternum.

"You're such a dork," she says, voice warm with so much affection that it's nothing like an insult.

"Um," Megamind says.

"What I want," Roxanne says, her fingertips trailing down his chest, "is to take my time with you." She lifts her hand and strokes over the curve of his head, "And enjoy you."

Megamind draws in a sharp breath as her fingers graze his ear and Roxanne, catching the reaction, smiles and traces the curve of it.

"There's no wrong way to respond, Megamind," she says softly as he gasps for breath. "You don't have to worry."

"I—just don't want to mess this up," he says helplessly, "I want to be able to—to do this right for you, Roxanne; I want to be able to give you what you want—"

"Well, that's easy, then," Roxanne says, smiling at him and stroking his face, "all you have to give me is you."

"God, I love you," Megamind blurts out.

Roxanne freezes and Megamind's heart freezes, too—oh no; he shouldn't have said that; normal people don't say things like that out of the blue after they've only been dating someone for five goddamn minutes—

"You don't have to say it back," he says quickly.

"—you—really?" she says.

Megamind flinches.

"Of—yes, really, you don't have to say it back," he says. "I just—sorry—I—I'm screwing this up already, aren't I—but—I—I do love you, Roxanne, and I'm sorry—"

Roxanne touches her fingertips lightly to his lips and he falls silent.

"—hey," she says, "—shh, no, you don't have to be sorry Megamind. I meant—you—really love me?"

Megamind blinks at her.

"Yes, of course I love you," he says, "how could I—how could I possibly not?"

"Oh," Roxanne says, smiling down at him radiantly. "Oh, that is—such a relief, Megamind, because I love you, too."

—she—

Megamind's heart seems to stop in his chest; the entire world seems to stop around the two of them for a moment—

"—really?" he says.

Roxanne laughs.

"Yeah," she says, looking so happy that she's practically shining with it, and—

(he did this; he made her this happy. she's happy that he loves her; she's happy that he loves her and she loves him, too)

"Wow," Megamind breathes.

"Yes," Roxanne says, "yes, it is, isn't it?"

(and that—that doesn't really make sense, except for that it totally does)

Roxanne laughs and collapses onto the bed beside him; Megamind turns to face her and she mirrors the motion.

"New plan, okay?" she says. "So that you maybe don't feel so nervous. We're going to kiss—just kiss—until you feel like you've got the hang of it and want to move on or until you want to take a break. That sound good?"

"That—that sounds amazing, Roxanne," Megamind says. "You're—you're okay with the—the just kissing, though?"

(she'd seemed ready, earlier, to take things much farther than that, and it's not that Megamind doesn't want that with her—he wants, oh he wants, quite badly, but—)

"Megamind, I am so excited that I get to kiss you; you have no idea," Roxanne says, still smiling widely at him, without a trace of unhappiness or uncertainty in her face.

"God, Roxanne; you're incredible," he says, and then, because he has always, always wanted to, he strokes his hand through her hair, tangles his fingers with the silky strands, marveling at the texture, at the fact that Roxanne is here, with him, in his bed, letting him touch her hair.

Roxanne makes a happy noise and leans forward to kiss him.

(He loses track of how many times they kiss somewhere around seventeen, loses track of time in general soon after that.)

Everything that's not Roxanne sort of fades away, unimportant, distant, so that he can focus his entire being, every one of his senses and all of his thoughts, on her, on this, on kissing Roxanne.

She's so—she's just—everything; she's everything. Soft and warm in his arms, beneath his hands, against his lips, pressed against him. She makes approving noises—several different types of approving noises—when he does something that she likes, laughs against his lips when the two of them bump their noses awkwardly together, when he tries to slide the hairpin from her hair and ends up yanking at it awkwardly.

"Seriously?" he mutters at the pin, "You didn't want to go in and now you don't want to come out, either? You're making me look—oh come on, you—ah-ha! Victory!"

Roxanne laughs harder as he places the damned pin on his dresser.

"You're ridiculous," she says, and he makes a noise of agreement as she goes back to kissing him, both his hands tangled up in her hair now.

She bites down on his lip, which catches him off-guard with how good it feels. He makes a startled noise of pleasure and she does it again.

Megamind is the one to growl at her, this time, and Roxanne seems to find it every bit as sexy as he did when she was the one doing it—he feels her shiver in his arms, and press closer to him, and it makes him feel invincible.

He—he moves without thinking, actually, moves the two of them so that Roxanne is lying on her back and he's lying on top of her, his body pinning hers to the mattress as he kisses her harder.

(the nerves hit a second later, of course, and he pulls back quickly, automatically, not wanting to make her feel trapped)

Megamind glances worriedly at Roxanne's face, but—well, going by her expression she doesn't seem to be upset with him at all.

Her cheeks are flushed and her lips are reddened and smirking and her hair—

—god, her hair is in absolutely gorgeous disarray from the way he's been running his hands through it, fanned out over his pillow and Megamind's breath catches.

"Beautiful," he whispers, "you're so beautiful."

She smiles up at him and he reaches out to brush a strand of her hair behind her ear, traces over the curve of it, then lets his fingertips trail down the column of her throat. She tips her head to the side for him, humming approvingly, baring her throat for him.

(not just letting him touch her, but wanting him to touch her; it's hard to believe that this is real)

Megamind lets his fingers rest a moment in the hollow of her throat, then strokes over the edge of her clavicle, the way he imagined doing earlier—the way he's imagined so many times, and the reality is so much better.

Roxanne makes another pleased humming sound and he moves without thinking again, pressing his lips to her throat, wanting to feel the vibration of it. Her hands slide up to cup the back of his neck in response and he shudders in pleasure at the sensation, pressing kiss after kiss to the skin of her throat, working his way upwards. When he reaches her ear, he kisses his way up that and she actually moans, her grip on his neck tightening.

Megamind gasps and presses his face into her hair, breathing in the scent of her. It's intoxicating; it makes his head spin. Roxanne seems to notice his distraction because she takes advantage of it, pushing him over, flipping the two of them so that he's the one pinned to the bed and she's the one lying on top of him.

She looks down at him, eyes sparkling.

"My turn, yeah?" she asks breathlessly, "If that's okay?"

(her—? oh, she must mean—she must want to do something like what he did to her—)

Does this count as moving on? The implication of that makes him just a little nervous, but his nerves are mostly drowned out by how much he wants, by the heady feeling of wanting and being wanted.

Roxanne is still looking down at him, waiting patiently for him to answer, and that—the way she's clearly willing to stop if he asks, calms his nerves into an almost-pleasant fluttering in the pit of his stomach.

"Yeah," he says, "yeah, that's okay."

Her face lights up like he's given her a gift, and then she leans down and licks up the side of his neck in a hot slick slide.

The sensation of it actually whites out his thoughts for a moment; he hears himself make a noise that is definitely nowhere near human. Roxanne pulls away and looks at his face.

"Still okay?" she asks.

"Y-yes, that's—god, yes, I just—m-my neck is really—ah—sensitive—"

Roxanne licks her lips and he swallows.

"Is it?" she murmurs in a dark, wicked tone, her eyes on his throat, watching his adams apple bob as he swallows. "That's terribly interesting. Especially since it's so—damn—distracting—"

She punctuates the last three words with a series of firm kisses up the length of his throat; Megamind gasps at each one.

When she reaches his ear, she kisses it, the way he did hers, and he can't stop himself from making another of those obviously alien noises. Roxanne doesn't seem to mind the sound, though; if anything, she seems pleased. She makes a happy humming sort of sound and then he feels—oh evil gods—feels the pressure of teeth on the edge of his ear, feels her carefully take it between her teeth and tug at it gently.

He moans and Roxanne releases his ear and runs her tongue along the edge of it.

"Oh," he says breathlessly, "oh."

He grabs blindly for her waist, wanting to pull her closer, and the fingertips of his right hand happen to fall just at the place where the edges of her shirt and her trousers overlap. And that's—something about that is—she's right there, her skin is right there; close enough to touch if he just slid his hand up a little. And she's lying on top of him, pressing kisses to the curve of his head now, and—

His head, god, he never thought she'd ever be willing to touch—any of him, really, but especially that part of him, one of the most visible indications of the fact that he isn't human, but she's kissing his head now like she thinks it's beautiful.

He slides his hand up, slips it beneath the hem of her shirt, and touches her skin.

She's so soft and so warm, and as soon as he touches her, he wants more, more of her skin, more of the softness and the warmth, more of Roxanne. He slides his other arm around her waist, wraps his hand around her hip, smooths his other palm up her back, feeling the curve of her spine. Roxanne makes a sound of approval and turns her head to bring their mouths together, kissing him as he strokes up and down her back.

The movement has rucked her shirt up enough that when she leans against him he can feel the skin of her stomach against his own abdomen and the complete and utter deliciousness of that sensation just about drives him out of his mind. He tries, surreptitiously, to push her shirt up just the slightest bit more, so that he can feel just a little more of her skin on his.

But evidently he isn't quite as surreptitious as he intends, because Roxanne laughs and breaks the kiss, and he can feel himself blushing.

"You know, you can just take it off of me," she says.

Megamind forgets how to breathe for a second.

"If you want," she says quickly. "Sorry. Trying not to be pushy."

She makes a face, apparently at herself, and sits up, ducking her head a little, hair falling over her face.

"You're not—you're not being pushy," Megamind says, sitting up as well. "Really, I—suggestions are good; I don't know what I'm doing so they're really quite—helpful in general and—may I? Um—"

He reaches for her, a little uncertainly, touches the hem of her shirt again, and she looks up at him.

"May I?" he asks again, voice low. "I'd really love to see you, Roxanne."

Roxanne takes a sharp breath.

"God, Megamind, yes," she says.

The shirt she's wearing has a series of buttons up the front of it; he's not really sure if he's supposed to start with the top button or the bottom button, so he compromises and undoes the button at the top—then the button at the bottom—then the second button from the top—then the next-to-last button—

Apparently he's hit on the right approach, because Roxanne's breathing picks up with every button he unfastens, until he reaches the final, center button that lays between her breasts. Megamind touches it, and then hesitates, glancing at Roxanne's face, making sure this is still all right, and she gives him a look of such pleading desire that it shocks him.

He fumbles the last button open and pushes the edges of her shirt apart, uncovering her, sliding the material over her shoulders, down her arms.

She's—

(god)

He's always tried to be as respectful as possible while—well, while fantasizing about Roxanne, has always attempted to restrain his imagination to images of her fully dressed, has never really allowed himself to picture her taking her clothes off. Much less her letting him take her clothes off, letting him see her like this, touch her like this.

"You're so beautiful," he says, his voice rough to his own ears. "So beautiful. Can I—"

"Yes," she says. "Please, Megamind, yes."

He touches her shoulders, slides his fingertips down her bare arms, and she shivers. He touches her throat, the hollow of it, wonderingly, watching her swallow, brushes his fingertips out over either side of her clavicle, then traces down her sternum, down the center line of her body. His fingertips sketch over the curve of her waist, her hips—god, how many times has he looked at her and longed to put his hands on her waist just so, just like this? And now he can.

Roxanne makes a noise in the back of her throat; he looks up at her inquiringly.

She bites her lip, clearly torn about something—and then she climbs into his lap, her legs straddling his hips, her weight resting on his thighs and her hands on his shoulders.

"Can I just—is this all—I just want to be closer to you," she says. "Is—that okay?"

"This is amazing and I literally cannot believe that it is happening," Megamind says fervently, wrapping one arm around her waist, holding her close.

Her expression lightens with relief and she laughs.

"Yeah," she says, "I guess this probably isn't what you were planning on happening today."

Megamind, kissing down the side of her neck, makes a noise of agreement and she laughs again.

(He nearly died of happiness when she asked him to brush her hair out of her face, and now she's sitting, shirtless, in his lap and laughing; how in the name of evil heaven did he manage to get so lucky?)

"You were probably," Roxanne says, "thinking it was going to be the usual—ah—the usual—menace Miss Ritchi—monologue about the—evil invention of the day—"

"Something like that," Megamind agrees, pushing the strap of her bra down over her shoulder so he can kiss her skin there.

"Mmmm," Roxanne says.

"Thank god the Cumulous Accumulator is defective."

"Is that what it was?" Roxanne asks, laughter in her voice, "you know, you never even got around to telling about it to me today."

Megamind rolls his eyes.

"Ugh, yes, that's because it's a piece of useless junk," he says. "The atmospheric vapor condenser was meant to use infrared radiation to force the air around the target to reach the dew point artificially, but my calculations were off and really there's no way to fix it now without completely starting over or possibly…rerouting the condenser to…operate through evaporative cooling instead…"

He trails off, feeling his eyes go wide. That's—oh—that makes sense; it would work if he—and it wouldn't be that hard to do, he'd just have to—

"…did you just figure out how to fix it?" Roxanne asks, her voice pulling him back into the moment that is happening, the moment with Roxanne half-naked in his lap what is wrong with him, thinking about atmospheric vapor condensers at a time like—

"Er—yes, but it—it doesn't—"

(he can see it, can see how to fix it; and it would be easy, so simple—)

"…do you want to go fix it now?" Roxanne says.

Megamind groans, leaning his head against her shoulder.

"I'm sorry," he says, hiding his face, "I don't know what's wrong with me—"

"—hey," Roxanne says, voice soothing, but with laughter at the edges of it. "I told you, Megamind, I know what you're like."

He lifts his head and looks at her uncertainly. Her eyes go soft as they meet his.

"I know what you're like," she says again. "And it's _what I like about you._ "

She kisses his temple and climbs out of his lap, reaches for her shirt.

"Come on," she says, "let's go fix your machine."

* * *

 _...to be continued._

 _notes: I hope you are all continuing to enjoy the story! The next chapter is going to be a rating increase; to find the story in the main listing, you'll need to change your settings to include 'stories rated M'._


	4. Chapter 4

"—okay, if you'll just—hold this piece here," Megamind says, and Roxanne, her shoulder pressed to his as they work on the Cumulus Accumulator, does as he directs, holding the gear out of the way so he can finish re-wiring the final portion of the new evaporative cooler.

He twists the last wire into place.

"Aaand—let go gently—"

Roxanne releases the gear carefully; it slips back into place.

"—there," he says.

"Is that it?" Roxanne asks.

She turns towards him, her shoulder still leaning against his, and he turns his head towards hers, their noses almost brushing.

Megamind can't seem to stop smiling; he feels ridiculously, impossibly happy.

Roxanne's smiling at him too, an excited grin curving her mouth, her blue eyes sparkling in the afternoon sunlight.

"Is it fixed?" she asks, voice eager.

"It certainly ought to be, Miss Ritchi!" Megamind says, grinning wider, and then his eyes drop to the beautiful, fascinating curve of Roxanne's smile, and he leans forward quickly and steals a kiss, the way he's longed to for years.

But it's hardly a real theft; Roxanne makes a pleased noise and when he breaks the kiss, she darts forward and steals a quick kiss of her own.

"—only one way to be sure, it works, of course," Megamind says.

"Ooh, are we going to test it?" Roxanne asks.

"If you'll just—" Megamind takes her hands and pulls her to her feet, "—stand—here, Miss Ritchi—"

Roxanne lets him lead her by the hand to the center of the roof, lets him take her shoulders and turn her so that she's facing the machine, a smile hovering around the corners of her lips.

—something about that—he told her that they're going to test one of his inventions and she's just letting him guide her, show her where to stand, and she doesn't look worried at all—

(Megamind thinks of alligators and deathtraps and the amused arch of Roxanne's eyebrow, the confident curve of her neck as she sat tied to a chair and—)

"Oh," he says breathlessly, looking at Roxanne with wide eyes. "Oh."

Roxanne tips her head curiously.

"What?" she asks.

"—I just realized," he says. "You—you trust me."

Roxanne blinks at him.

"Yes, of course," she says.

"That's why you never screamed," he says, shocked at the dawning realization.

"During kidnappings, you mean?" Roxanne says. "Yeah; I knew you weren't really going to let me get hurt. Plus it was—"

She cuts herself off, her face flushing.

"What?" Megamind says.

"—a way of annoying you," Roxanne says, and then makes a face. "Challenging you? Getting you to—pay attention to me."

Megamind stares at her.

"…I wanted you to talk to me; I didn't want to waste the time screaming," she mutters.

She looks away again, blushing harder. The wind blows her hair across her eyes, hiding them from him.

Megamind's breath catches, and he reaches out to gently brush her hair out of her face and behind her ear.

Roxanne looks at him again, looks at him up through her lashes. She smiles, crooked and embarrassed.

"I thought about screaming sometimes for you anyway, you know," she says, words coming a little too fast. "I thought it might make you happy."

Megamind touches her cheekbone lightly with his fingertips.

"I'm happy now," he says softly.

Roxanne smiles and tilts her head so that the curve of her cheek rests in his palm. He rubs his thumb over her cheekbone wonderingly and her smile turns sly and wicked.

"Not that I'm rejecting the possibility," she says, voice sweet, "of my screaming for you some time in private."

She smirks at him, that and her tone leaving him in no doubt as to what, exactly, she's implying.

He gulps, feeling his face go hot. Roxanne laughs.

"You're so fun to tease," she says gleefully, and turns her head to press a kiss to the palm of his hand. "But we were going to test the machine," she says, smiling.

"—test! Yes—right—" Megamind pulls the hand she kissed back and holding it cradled to his chest for a moment.

(wow—ohhh—oh wow)

"Right!" he says again. "Yes, so—you—stand there, Roxanne, and—ah, close your eyes."

Roxanne raises her eyebrows at him, but does as he says and closes her eyes.

There are small freckles, tiny, almost invisible, scattered over the bridge of her nose. Megamind stares at her for a moment and marvels that he is allowed to look at her like this, marvels at how beautiful she is.

And then he gives himself a mental shake and moves quickly back to the Cumulus Accumulator.

He's hardly going to test the machine for the first time on Roxanne; she is right; he's never going to risk her really getting hurt. He'll need to do a quick test himself, but he does want to surprise her; that's why he had her close her eyes. If this works, then it might actually be impressive…

Megamind picks up the control ring and slips it onto the middle finger of his left hand, then flicks the switch on the Cumulus Accumulator to start the generator. A quiet mechanical hum begins—okay, so far so good—

He holds out his hand, palm up, and spins the inner portion of the ring back and forth with his thumb, checking to make sure it slides easily. It does—good.

Megamind presses down once on the inner portion of the ring. There's a barely audible click, and then the cloud starts to gather.

It forms about six inches above his open palm, white and wispy at first, and then denser and darker.

He spins the inner portion of the ring slowly clockwise and the cloud begins to dissipate again; he spins the inner portion counterclockwise and it gathers once more.

Accumulation is working then; time to test precipitation.

Megamind clicks the ring twice this time, then twists it slowly counterclockwise; rain begins to fall from the miniature cloud. He turns it back clockwise and the rain stops again.

Precipitation is good; now for the last test.

He clicks the ring three times and twists the ring counterclockwise and little flashes of light begin to dance in the tiny cloud, and a soft growl of thunder comes from it. Megamind twists the ring a little further counterclockwise and the flashes get brighter, faster—a little further and—

A miniature bolt of lightning zaps his palm. Only a little stronger than a static shock, but definitely unpleasant. Megamind twists the ring clockwise again until the flashes of light dissipate slightly. He waits for a moment, checking to be sure he's found the safe setting again; no more lighting comes.

Good; good—he clicks the ring once, bringing the ring back to the accumulation setting, then walks to Roxanne.

Her eyes are still closed; Megamind moves to stand in front of her, finding the best, most dramatic place to stand, arranging his hands so that the cloud is hovering above both of his open palms.

(his heart is beating hard, the way it always does when he's getting ready to unveil one of his inventions for her, but this is different, because it isn't just an evil plot this time; she's here because she wants to be.)

"Open your eyes, Roxanne," he says.

She does, eyelashes fluttering and he sees her eyes focus on him, and then she gasps, her eyes going round as she sees what he's holding.

(Megamind drinks in that reaction greedily: the wide eyes, the quiet gasp. He knows that expression, that sound; it's what Roxanne does whenever he's actually managed to surprise her. Megamind cherishes each and every time he's ever gotten her to give that reaction, and he cherishes this time most of all.)

"—how?" she breathes.

"The ring controls it," Megamind says. "Would you—would you like to try?"

Roxanne nods, eyes still wide.

"Hold out your hands, then," he says.

Roxanne does, mimicking the way his hands are held: palms up, chest height. Megamind moves his hands so that they're over hers.

"Slip the ring off my finger and put it on yours," he says.

She does it carefully, sliding the ring over his finger and then onto her own, her hands still under his. Megamind looks at her face and then he opens his hands, letting the storm pour off his palms and into hers.

"Oh," she says, wonder in her voice, her face shining with joy. "Oh, wow, Megamind, this is amazing."

Megamind feels a warm brightness fare in his chest and spread through his body. Amazing. She's wearing one of his inventions and she thinks it's amazing.

"The ring controls it?" she asks, looking up at him.

"There are three settings on the ring: accumulation, precipitation, and lightning," Megamind explains. "It's on accumulation right now; that controls the size. You turn the inner portion of the ring with your thumb; counterclockwise to increase size, clockwise to decrease it. To switch between the settings, you press down on the inner portion of the ring until you feel a click. One click is accumulation, two clicks for precipitation, three clicks for lightning. You probably don't want to increase lightning at all when you're holding it like this, but! If you'd like to try out the other settings…"

Roxanne clicks the ring twice for the precipitation setting and turns the ring with her thumb. A rain patters down from the tiny cloud, water falling onto her palms, spilling over her hands.

She laughs, a joyful, breathless sound that catches at Megamind's heart.

Roxanne twists the ring further clockwise and the rain falls harder, flashes of light inside the cloud dancing softly over her face and hair.

Megamind takes a sharp breath, thinking of her half-teasing comment about him calling her a goddess. She looks like one, now more than ever, her hair tousled by the wind and eyes shining as she holds a storm in her hands.

Roxanne clicks the ring once, changing it over to the accumulation setting again, and turns the ring counterclockwise, lifting her hands up. The cloud grows, rises, over her head, and she tips her face up to feel the rain, arms still upraised.

She laughs again, and looks at him, lowering her arms.

"Eeyore cloud!" she says, pointing at the storm over her head that is now the size of a table rather than a softball.

Megamind gives a startled laugh.

"I—suppose it is, isn't it?" he says, "That, or Charlie Brown!"

Roxanne laughs again and twists the ring counterclockwise once more, and again the cloud grows and rises, spinning itself out of the air until it's hanging above the Lair, completely covering it.

Rain falls over the Lair, splattering onto the roof, pattering onto Megamind's skin. Roxanne clicks the ring once, spins it counterclockwise, and the rain falls harder. She tilts her head up and laughs again, and if Megamind didn't already love her, he thinks he would fall in love with her at this moment.

Then she looks at him again and smiles, light of the storm dancing overhead, water sliding over her skin and through her hair, and Megamind cannot help but reach for her.

His hands go to cradle her face and Roxanne winds her free arm around his neck, pulling him close and kissing him.

The heat of her mouth is intoxicating; a warm bright point in the cool rain, and Megamind pushes his fingers into her wet hair and kisses her and kisses her. Roxanne makes a beautiful, soft, happy noise and kisses him back.

There's something about the slick feeling of her wet skin that sends desire shivering through his body in an electric current; he breaks the kiss to press his lips to her throat instead, kissing up the length of it. Roxanne turns her head a bit and kisses him on the temple—oh—and then their mouths catch each other again in another kiss.

Megamind has to break the kiss at last, gasping for breath; he leans his forehead against Roxanne's and cups the back of her head in his hand, the fingers of his other hand tracing the edge of her collar bone, sliding through the raindrops gathered there.

He wants—he wants her closer than this, wants—

"What are you thinking?" he murmurs, feeling the curve of her head beneath his palm, feeling her breath ghost over his lips.

"That I love you," Roxanne says, her voice as low as his.

Megamind takes a quick, shocked breath and she tips her head forward to brush their lips softly together.

She leans back and smiles into his eyes.

"And," she says, "that I'm not sure why you called this the Cumulus Accumulator when it should clearly be called the Storm Ring."

Megamind blinks at her.

"Storm Ring," he says slowly. "Roxanne, that is fantastic."

She gives him a pleased look and he laughs.

"Are you sure you don't want to be a supervillain?" he says, grinning at her.

"Are you sure you do want to be one?" Roxanne asks.

"I—" Megamind stares at her, taken aback.

A look of uncertainty comes over Roxanne's face.

"Sorry," she says, "I just—there's so much good you could do with this device! Droughts and wildfires and—"

"I—yes, I mean—I know," Megamind says, "and I'm planning on—um—I—I have several—technological research companies under false names that—apparently reverse engineer my evil inventions into technology useful for society—"

"I know that," Roxanne says, "I just—"

"You—wait, you know that?" Megamind says.

Roxanne makes a face.

"Megamind the amount of time I have spent researching you is really kind of embarrassing. And weird. Sorry. I don't want to freak you out."

"…uh…considering—the amount of time I've spent, um—planning evil plots entirely around you and—watching your reports, I'm pretty sure we are at least even on the—uh, the weirdness, Roxanne," Megamind says, mind still reeling, only half on what he's saying, because Roxanne researched him?

He's never been so flattered in his entire existence.

Roxanne's expression goes soft and surprised.

"You watch my reports?" she asks.

"Yes, of course," Megamind says, surprised at the way she seems to be surprised. "You're—you're a brilliant reporter, Roxanne; watching you work is always amazing."

Roxanne's expression goes even softer, and then she leans in and kisses him, her hand cupping his jaw and her tongue parting his lips.

"—you are terrible," she says, voice breathless and scolding when she breaks the kiss.

She bumps their noses gently together.

"—distracting me," she continues, "with the praise and the kissing when I'm trying to make an important point—"

Megamind makes a noise of protest as she strokes her fingertips over his jaw.

"—not even the one who started the kissing," he points out, tilting his head invitingly, hoping for another kiss. "—can't blame me."

Roxanne does kiss him again—yes! victory—and then she pulls away.

"It's definitely all your fault, Megamind," she says, voice so warm and affectionate that the words sound more like praise than blame.

Megamind grins and Roxanne makes a frustrated sound and leans away to look into his eyes.

" _Anyway_ —like I was saying, I _know_ you have companies with false names, but why don't you use your _own name_ to help people?"

Megamind feels his smile fall away, but he shrugs and tries to smile again for her.

"Because nobody would let me help them," he says, trying to keep his tone light.

Roxanne presses her lips into a line, her eyebrows drawing together.

"…they might if you partnered with Scott Technology to do it," she says.

Megamind blinks.

That's—

His first, automatic response, is to say Metro Man would never go for that, but—

—but—

He remembers Wayne telling him that he's been bored lately, and, see, that just doesn't make sense, because Megamind has been rolling out the evil plots with his usual frequency, and it's not like they've been half-assed plots or anything, so—

(it doesn't make sense)

—So it can't be that Wayne's bored because Megamind hasn't been giving him enough to do as Metro Man; it has to be—

—has to be—

It has to be that Wayne is bored with being Metro Man.

—oh, but surely that can't be—

(Wayne looking shocked when Megamind suggested that he get a hobby, like it had never occurred to him that he was allowed to do that; his eyes lighting up when he talked about learning to play the guitar; the way he'd hung around the Lair awkwardly, trying to make friendly conversation with Megamind, like—)

"Roxanne," Megamind says slowly, "you are—you are absolutely the smartest person I know, do you know that?"

"…you think it's a good plan?" Roxanne asks.

Megamind laughs suddenly, loud and happy and hopeful, and wraps his arms around her waist, sweeps her off of her feet and whirls her around in a circle in the rain.

He sets her down and kisses her, pulls away to look into her face.

"I think it's a _great_ plan," he says fervently, and Roxanne's face lights up.

* * *

 ** _...to be continued._**

 ** _notes: I hope you enjoyed the update! Remember that the rating increase should be coming up in the next chapter._**


	5. Chapter 5

They kiss on the roof beneath the rain until Megamind, his arms wrapped around Roxanne, feels a shiver go through her body.

He breaks the kiss.

"Are you cold?" he asks.

Roxanne shivers again.

"A little, yeah," she says, pressing closer to him. "Are you not?"

"No—but then my body doesn't really—it has to be colder than this, for me to get cold. We should go inside; find you some dry clothes—sorry; I should have realized earlier—"

"Hey," Roxanne grins at him, presses a quick kiss to his jaw. "It's okay. Not like I'm freezing or anything. Dry clothes sound nice, though."

"Good—good; just let me—" Megamind reluctantly lets go of her to turn off the generator for the Storm Ring. "There—the storm should dissipate naturally, now; should take about an hour or so."

"Do you need to do something to turn this off, too?" Roxanne asks, slipping off the Storm Ring and holding it up.

"No; the ring doesn't function without the generator," Megamind says. "I do need to remember to tweak it, later, though; I want to add another setting to control temperature…"

Roxanne slips the ring into her pocket and throws him a look of affection before reaching out, quite naturally, and lacing their fingers together.

Megamind's mind and words both stutter to a halt at that. He looks down at the sight of their joined hands in amazement.

"What?" Roxanne says.

"—what—? Oh! Um—nothing, I just—" Megamind carefully tightens his grip on Roxanne's hand just the slightest bit. "I've—wanted to hold your hand for years, Roxanne."

He hears the sharp breath that Roxanne takes, feels her tighten her own grip on his hand. Megamind looks up at her face; she's staring at him with an intensity that hits him like sunlight, hot and bright and golden.

"I am so entirely in love with you," she says, and Megamind feels his face flush.

"I—I love you too," he says, ducking his head in embarrassment but then looking up at her right away through his lashes, unable to keep his eyes off of her.

She smiles at him and he smiles back, feeling giddy and amazed all over again.

(Roxanne is holding his hand and smiling at him and she loves him and—)

"—clothes!" Megamind says, forcing his mind back on track. "Dry clothes!"

Roxanne's still smiling as he leads her down off the roof.

His wardrobe is fairly limited, and he and Roxanne don't really have the same proportions; if he wants something that will fit her, it's probably going to have to be—

Megamind turns away from his closet to ask Roxanne if pajamas are acceptable and then freezes at the sight of her.

Her hair is wet, strands of it clinging to her cheeks, to the sides of her neck. Her clothes are wet, too, soaked and plastered to her body.

She's standing at the foot of his bed, quite casually, as though she's completely comfortable here, as though she would be perfectly content to stay here indefinitely.

(here, with him)

"—hey," she says softly, seeing him staring.

"—hey," he says back, heart and mind both reeling. "I—I was going to ask you a question…"

Roxanne gives him an inquiring look.

As he looks at her—stares at her—a droplet of water from her wet hair slips down the side of her neck, then over her clavicle, then disappears past the collar of her shirt.

"…I've actually forgotten what it was," Megamind says dazedly.

Roxanne's lips part and she reaches up to touch her hair, then trails her fingers absently down the side of her neck, following the path of the water droplet.

Megamind takes a sharp breath, desire going through him in a hot, slow wave.

Roxanne's gaze flicks down to his mouth, then back up to his eyes.

"Kiss me?" she asks, voice breathy.

Megamind takes two steps towards her and wraps one arm around her waist, reaches up to trace his fingertips over her lips. She takes a shuddery breath as he does, her eyelashes fluttering.

He touches the edge of her jaw, and she tilts her head in response, pressing closer against him, one of her hands on his chest, the tips of her fingers at the base of his throat, the other stroking feather-light down the side of his neck.

Megamind kisses her.

She winds her arms around his neck and kisses him back and he is amazed anew at the fact of her—the fact of his hands in her wet hair, and the texture of that, and the way she is holding him, kissing him—the fact that she's here, the fact that she exists.

Roxanne—Roxanne trusts him. She stood on top of the Lair roof and closed her eyes when he asked, let him pour a storm into her hands and she never flinched, because she trusts him.

Something, some cold, dark knot of misery in his chest that's been there for so long he's nearly forgotten about it—eases, untangles at that realization.

He never thought that Roxanne would trust him. But she does.

Megamind gently breaks the kiss to look at her. She looks back at him and her expression is—

She looks like she's in love.

Megamind has wanted to know what love looks like written in Roxanne's face for so long, and it's so much more beautiful than he could ever imagine.

"Roxanne," he says softly.

She makes a quiet, inquiring noise.

"Would you take me to bed, now, please?" he asks.

Roxanne takes a sharp breath.

"Are you sure?" she asks. "I meant it when I said I don't want to push."

"You haven't been," Megamind says. He touches Roxanne's hair lightly. "And I am sure."

(It surprises him, how sure he is. He hadn't been, before. Oh, he'd known he wanted her, of course, but the suddenness of that being an actual thing that was actually happening had—it had been—too much.)

This feels like—it feels like a choice that he's making, instead of something he's just careening wildly toward.

"I trust you," he says. "I—I know you're not going to hurt me."

An odd expression flashes in Roxanne's eyes, something soft and fierce at the same time.

"No," she says, "no, I'm not going to hurt you."

She strokes her hand over the curve of his head and leans forward until their lips are almost touching.

"I'm going to be so careful with you," she whispers. "So careful, I promise."

She kisses him, a soft, soft, fleeting brushes of their lips at first—almost a tease, except that she never denies him when his lips chase after hers for another kiss—and another, and another, her hands holding his face gently, like he's something delicate, like he's something worth being careful with.

Roxanne tips his head just a little to the side with the slightest pressure of her fingers and kisses the corner of his jaw, then right beneath his ear.

"—ah—" he hears himself make a small sound, a gasp really, and then he arches his neck to the side, begging without words.

Roxanne must understand, because she kisses his neck, all down the side of it, her hand trailing down it after her mouth, thumb sliding just so down the tendon in his neck, and then she presses her lips to his pulse point and hums.

Megamind's knees buckle. He catches himself before he falls, though, his skin flushing hot, half with desire and half with embarrassment.

"S-sorry," he says, looking into Roxanne's face.

Her expression almost makes his knees buckle again.

"I really have this much of an effect on you," she says, like she's just realizing this.

"You really, really do," Megamind says, embarrassment turning to shy pleasure at her expression.

She smiles at him, wide and triumphant, like she's just won some sort of victory.

"Take my shirt off for me, sweetheart?" she asks.

Megamind swallows, hands going to the buttons of her shirt. He can do this fine; he managed it perfectly well last time—

"Is there actually an order?" he asks.

Roxanne blinks, tips her head inquiringly.

"An order?" she asks.

"To the buttons," Megamind says, "is there actually normally a protocol for which button you're supposed to start with? I'm sorry. That's probably a stupid question. I've just never really been in any sort of social situation where observing the normal way people undress is—is it weird that I'm talking?"

Roxanne puts her hand on the small of his back like she can tell he needs her to steady him (she probably can). Megamind takes a shaky breath.

"I like hearing you talk," Roxanne says, her voice calm and filled with affection. "You can talk if you want to, Megamind. And I don't mind if you ask questions. There isn't a specific order for the buttons. You can start wherever you want."

She smiles at him reassuringly and Megamind takes another breath, steadier this time, and reaches for her buttons once more.

He starts at the top button this time, but he doesn't undo it, just rests his fingertips over the smooth cool plastic, then lightly drags his fingers down the line of buttons, feeling the difference in texture between the buttons and the material of Roxanne's shirt, feeling the way her chest rises and falls when she takes an uneven breath.

Megamind moves his hands back up to the first button, at the base of Roxanne's throat, and his hands are very nearly not shaking at all. Still, he unfastens the buttons with careful slowness, and by the time he's pulled the bottom button free, Roxanne's breathing has picked up and her hand at the small of his back has tightened in the material of his shirt.

She lets go of him, though, so that he can push the shirt down off of her shoulders, off her arms, more skin revealed at every moment—god, the slope of her shoulders and the curve of her neck alone is enough to nearly drive him out of his mind. Roxanne smiles at him and turns, so that her back is facing him.

"Bra clasp," she murmurs, looking over her shoulder at him.

"Oh—right, yes—" Megamind touches the place where the material comes together between her shoulder blades.

Ah, a hook and eye clasp; Minion uses these sometimes in Megamind's more elaborate villain costumes. Megamind unhooks the clasp and then reaches hesitantly for the narrow straps on Roxanne's shoulders and push them down. He presses a kiss to each of her shoulders as she slides her bra the rest of the way off.

"Wow," Megamind says softly, looking at the gorgeous expanse of her back in amazement. There's—there's so much skin; he can see the line of her spine, can see the swell of her hips over the waistband of her pants, can see the freckles that dot her skin like scattered stars.

He runs two fingers down the line of her spine and feels her shiver. An answering shiver goes through him.

"You're so beautiful," he says tracing over the edges of her shoulder blades.

Roxanne shivers again, looking over her shoulder at him. Megamind dips his head to kiss her, sliding his hands down her sides, towards her hips.

She turns in his arms, her arms slipping around his neck, kissing him more firmly than before. Megamind kisses her back, his hands on the bare skin at her waist. Roxanne breaks the kiss and smiles at him. Megamind smiles back, and then glances down and—

He looks away automatically, stepping back without thinking, heat flooding his face.

"…you're allowed to look at me, you know, Megamind," Roxanne says, with a gentle thread of amusement running through the words.

Megamind glances up and…glances away quickly, god, why is he so stupid—

"Sorry," he says, voice rather strangled, "I'm just not used to—"

He waves a hand vaguely.

"…to…me being naked?" Roxanne suggests.

Megamind pulls a face.

"—to it being okay to look at you at all," he mutters, and his ears are burning.

He looks up, fixes his eyes on Roxanne's face. Her expression is gently confused, her head tilted slightly to the side.

"But you look at me all the time," she says.

"Yes, but not like—" evil gods, he's blushing even harder, now; he can feel it, "—not like—I try really hard not to be creepy and, and—what's the word that—and objectifying," he finishes with a gesture of distress, eyes sliding away from Roxanne's again, his gaze going to the door of the closet behind her.

"Oh," Roxanne says, and he can hear the comprehension in her voice. "Oh, sweetheart, attraction and objectification aren't the same thing."

Megamind looks into her face again; her expression is soft.

"Look at me," she says. "I want you to look."

And Megamind—looks.

The graceful, bare slope of her neck and shoulders, unbroken by any sort of covering, is enough to make his breath catch. And the curve of where her waist and her hip meet—oh god, she has freckles; that's so unexpected and perfect. And her breasts are divine—full and soft looking, and tipped with pink.

There's a group of freckles on her left hip; knowing that seems intensely personal and intimate, somehow; makes him feel as if she's just whispered a secret into his ear.

Megamind drags his gaze back upwards to Roxanne's face.

She looks incredibly satisfied with herself; as he watches, her lips curve into a wicked slow smile. Then she trails one finger down her own throat and across her collarbone to her shoulder. Megamind hears himself make a strangled choking noise. Roxanne's smirk widens.

"I love the way you look at me," she says,

She trails her hand down from the base of her throat, down the center line of her body and Megamind gasps.

"Would you like to touch me, now?" Roxanne asks invitingly.

"Oh, god, yes," Megamind says, voice shaking.

"Come here, then."

Megamind steps forward. He hesitates a moment when he reaches for her, then rests one hand on her hip and touches her throat, trails his fingertips down, like she did, before.

Roxanne's breath catches, her lips parting. Megamind leaves his one hand on her hip, rubs his thumb over her hipbone and trails his other hand up her body this time, brushes his fingertips lightly over just the underside of her breast.

"God, I love your hands," Roxanne says breathlessly.

Megamind blinks.

"My hands?" he says.

He looks down at his hand.

Holy fuck, his hand is on Roxanne's breast; the sight makes him feel positively dizzy, and then Roxanne reaches up to put her hand over his, guides it upwards so that her breast is actually in his hand, warm skin pressed against his palm.

Both of them gasp.

Megamind, remembering how she'd touched him, earlier, when she'd first pushed him down on the bed, rolls her nipple beneath his thumb, and Roxanne gasps again.

The sound makes desire twist in the pit of his stomach; he does it again for her, slower, savoring the sensation, the way he can feel her nipple getting tight.

"Yes," she says, "Ah—I have—mmm—had entire fantasies centered around your hands. God, they're so gorgeous."

Megamind looks again at his hand; it looks as his hands always do (except for the touching-Roxanne thing, which—ohhh wow)—but—blue skin, oddly long fingers, strangely thin wrists.

"Really?" he says in disbelief. "But they're—the—" he takes his hand from Roxanne's hip to gesture, "—the proportions of them aren't even human."

Surely she's noticed that, surely she—

Roxanne gives him a weird look.

"Yeah, I know," she says. "Doesn't mean they're not beautiful. The proportions of your head aren't human, either, and I still find it attractive."

Megamind feels his eyes go wide, feels his mouth fall open in shock.

She—she likes his head? Even though it's so—completely alien?

"Do you?" he asks, breathless with delight. "Do you really?"

Roxanne looks at him like he's crazy.

"Well, yeah," she says, like she can't understand why he's asking. "Don't you know how beautiful you are?"

She—Roxanne thinks—thinks he's—

Both of his hands are on her waist now, Megamind realizes distantly. He should—he should—

Roxanne tilts her head, studying his expression, a smile beginning to curve her lips.

"Do you like that?" she asks. "Me telling you that you're beautiful?"

Megamind's fingers twitch where he's holding her waist; he swallows, unable to answer, his heart fluttering in his chest.

Roxanne's expression goes pleased and then almost predatory.

"Your skin," she says, "happens to be my favorite color. And it turns such pretty colors when you blush—yes," she murmurs as Megamind feels heat rushing up to his face, to his ears, "—yes, just like that."

She reaches up and runs a single fingertip down the front of his throat, from above his adams apple to the indentation at the base of it.

"This," she says, "right here, that little strip of skin that shows when you have your collar on? This is absolutely maddening; I meant it when I said your neck was distracting."

She presses a kiss to his throat and Megamind's lashes flutter. Then she rocks back on her heels.

"And your eyes, of course," Roxanne says, looking into them. "I've never seen eyes like that—how wide they are, and how green, and how—utterly expressive they are."

She reaches up and cups his cheek, rubs her thumb over his cheekbone, then kisses the tip of his nose.

"I've wanted to do that for ages," she says, grinning at his expression.

She reaches up to run her palm over the top of his head, and then to stroke her fingertips down the rim of his ear.

"That, too," she says.

Her fingertips trail over his jaw, towards his chin; she takes hold of it lightly and rubs the pad of her thumb over his lower lip, her eyes on his mouth.

"And this," she murmurs as his lips part in response to the touch. She strokes her thumb down over the strip of his facial hair. "This is incredibly appealing."

She leans forward and kisses him, sucking lightly at his bottom lip before flicking her tongue over it, delicate and teasing until he makes a soft involuntary noise of pleading. Then she laughs against his mouth and pulls him closer, kissing him harder, her tongue slipping past his lips.

Roxanne kisses him hard enough that his thoughts just seem to smooth out, until he's not really thinking at all, just feeling. When she pulls away, it takes him a moment to remember to open his eyes.

"Let me take your shirt off, now, sweetheart?" Roxanne asks.

Megamind blinks at her, words taking longer than usual to come together into thought. His—right, yes, right—

It would be easy just to twist his arms behind his back and unzip his shirt himself, but Roxanne asked if she could take it off. So Megamind takes a half step back from her and turns slowly, so she can see the zipper.

He bends his head forward, wanting, wanting—

"Please," he says, voice shaking.

Roxanne presses her lips to the back of his head in a kiss and Megamind's body shudders as the pleasure of the touch goes through him.

—wanting that, yes, god, yes.

Roxanne pulls the zipper of his shirt down slowly, pressing kiss after kiss down his neck to the base of it. She pulls the zipper down the rest of the way, two of her fingers trailing over his skin, following the path of his spine.

When the shirt is unzipped all the way, she pushes the sides of the material apart and presses a kiss between his shoulder blades.

Megamind shivers and turns to face her, letting her pull the shirt the rest of the way off his arms and drop it on the floor. Then she slips her arms around his neck and kisses him, all of the skin of their upper bodies pressed together, Megamind's arms wrapped around her.

Roxanne eases out of the kiss and leans her forehead against his and a pulse of—

(love/desire/amazement)

—sings all through his body.

"Hey," Roxanne says, "you still okay?"

"I am fantastic," Megamind says, splaying the fingers of both his hands on Roxanne's back, glorying in the texture of her skin, the heat of it, the way he can feel her breathing.

(it's all so entirely, indisputably real.)

"This is really happening," he says in amazement.

"Yeah," Roxanne says, and her voice sounds just as awed as his, "yeah, it is."

She brushes her lips over his, a whisper of a kiss. Megamind mimics the motion, their mouths slipping over each other, delicate and light.

The gentleness of it makes him ache for more, shivers of pleasure going through his body with every light motion of their lips together, heat twisting around his spine and pooling between his legs.

Every part of him that's touching Roxanne seems incredibly sensitive, electric, like he was never really alive, before, never really alive before she touched him.

She kisses his jaw, her hands sliding down to his shoulders, then over his chest as she shifts a step back from him.

Roxanne steps easily out of her shoes and pushes them gracefully aside with her foot,

"Help me with the rest of my clothes?" she asks, catching his hands in hers and guiding them to the waistband of her trousers.

She slides her hands up his arms as he unfastens the button, pulls down the zipper of her fly. He hooks his fingers beneath the edge of her waistband and his fingertips brush against the rough texture of lace.

His hands are shaking again, he realizes, unsteady with how much he wants her. Roxanne's palms smooth over his shoulders and Megamind tugs the material of her trousers down past her waist and—

—stops, because the material—doesn't seem to want to pull down past that point, caught on the curve of her hips.

(oh god, is he—? is he doing this wrong? somehow? these are pants; surely he should be able to handle pants—)

A laugh bursts out of Roxanne.

"Oh, god, okay, here, let me just—"

She steps back from him, takes hold of the waistband herself and tugs it sharply downwards, wriggling her hips in a way that is—holy shit.

She laughs again.

"I promise this is—usually a lot sexier, when my clothes aren't wet—shrinking—"

"—I am really not feeling any need to complain," Megamind says fervently as she steps out of the trousers entirely.

She is wearing lace; the black scalloped edges framing her hips and thighs perfectly.

Roxanne looks up at him, laughter still in her face. She looks him up and down appreciatively, then hooks a fingertip beneath the waistband of her panties and slowly drags them down, lets them fall.

Megamind takes a sharp, uneven breath as she steps out of them, her eyes on his face. She's so—she's so—

(beautiful perfect so much more than he ever imagined)

Roxanne smiles at him and then, slowly, deliberately, making sure he's watching, shifts her weight into one hip.

(her body curving contrapposto, like a classical statue, like—)

"What are you thinking right now?" Roxanne asks, and Megamind jumps guiltily, aware of the fact that he was probably staring.

"Ah—um—nothing, sorry, I was, ah, just thinking that—" he sketches the S curve of her body in the air, "—that—looks like the Venus de Milo. Only better, obviously," he adds absently, "because it's you."

Roxanne is very still for a moment.

(oh no, was that a weird thing to say; a weird thing to be thinking—)

Then she moves towards him—stalks towards him, really, and kisses him.

There's an intensity to this kiss that makes his heart race.

She puts one hand on the small of his back and steps forward, walking him backwards like they're dancing.

"Are you—" she says between kisses, "—aware of—" Megamind reaches the edge of the bed, "—how completely wonderful you are?"

Roxanne kisses him, ending with a gentle bite to his lower lip that makes him moan.

"A-am I?" Megamind says dazedly.

"Yes," Roxanne says forcefully, claiming his mouth in kiss after kiss. "—Venus de Milo—fucking—I just—how are you real?"

She pushes him lightly and Megamind lets himself be pushed so that he's sitting on the bed, face tilted up as she leans over him, kissing him.

Roxanne breaks the kiss and looks down on him. Megamind gazes up at her, drinking in the sight of her.

(god, she's so beautiful and he loves her so much)

She gives a soft laugh and moves to kneel on the floor between his legs.

Megamind chokes at the sight of her, but she doesn't seem to notice, as she's reaching for his right boot and tugging it off of his foot.

"Um," he says.

"Mm?" Roxanne says, pressing a quick kiss to kiss right knee before reaching for his other boot.

"Uh—" Megamind laughs nervously, "—as a—random, nonspecific question, um, how—how set are you on the idea of strictly human genitalia?"

His voice is an octave higher than normal, by the end of the question.

Roxanne, pulling off his left boot, pauses for a moment and looks up at him. Slight surprise flickers over her face, followed by interest, and then she smiles.

"I'm not," she says simply, and pulls his boot the rest of the way off.

"—not?" Megamind repeats blankly.

"Yeah," she says, setting his boots aside and putting her hand on his knee, resting it there. "I'm not set on it. I mean, I do know you're an alien, Megamind, and I've—" her cheeks flush slightly and she catches her lower lip in her teeth for a moment, "—imagined you lots of different ways," she finishes.

Megamind stares down at her.

"Imagined—?" he manages.

Roxanne blushes deeper; she licks her lips, her thumb stroking over the inside of his knee.

"Well, yes," she says.

"In—in different—?"

"Yeah, like—" she slides her hand up his thigh, almost to the juncture of where his legs meet, and then she slides it back down. "Okay, obviously, I started with thinking about what you'd look like if you got hard in that suit of yours—god, these leather pants would show everything—and I imagined shoving them down just far enough that I could push you down in my chair and straddle your lap and ride you—"

Megamind can feel heat pooling between his legs at her words and her touch. Roxanne puts her other hand on his right knee and he feels like he is going to die.

"—and then it occurred to me that I'd never seen the outline of your cock at all in these pants."

Roxanne slides her hands up his thighs again and Megamind bites his tongue to keep from moaning.

"So then I imagined what you'd look like spread out on my bed with my fingers inside you and my tongue on your clit. The way you'd arch and gasp and moan my name."

She brushes both her thumbs back and forth on the inside of his thighs, not moving her hands downwards or upwards and Megamind clutches the sheets and tries to remember how to breathe.

"And then—" Roxanne bends her head to press a kiss to the inside of his right thigh and he can't hold back a whimper. "Then I got—more creative. I thought—maybe something retractable. I'd have to lick you, get you turned on enough before you'd come out for me."

She brushes a kiss over his stomach, her lips warm against his skin, and Megamind gasps.

"Different textures, maybe," she murmurs. "Or even prehensile—I pictured you lying between my legs and stroking my clit with it until we both came."

She looks up at him and smiles.

"Like I said, lots of different ways." She presses her palms against his thighs. "You want to tell me if I got any of it right? Or do you want to surprise me?"

"Um," Megamind says, mind reeling—dear god—she'd thought—she'd thought all of that, about him? "Um—ah, retractable. Is. And—and prehensile. Also, there's, um, more than one?"

His voice shakes on the last part; he can feel his heart racing with nerves.

"Ooh, tentacles?" Roxanne says, in a tone of unmistakable delight.

Megamind bursts into shocked, relieved laughter.

"Oh, my god," he says, covering his face with his hands, "oh, my god, of course that would be your reaction. I don't even know why I was worried; you're never scared of anything."

He looks at her through his fingers, still snickering helplessly; she's grinning up at him.

"What can I say, Megamind," she says, voice sweet, a wicked glint in her eye, "none of your _equipment_ is scary."

Megamind laughs even harder. He reaches out and runs his fingers through Roxanne's hair.

"You are a terrible, cruel woman, Miss Ritchi," he says, "and I absolutely adore you."

He shakes his head and moves backwards onto the bed, tucking his legs underneath himself and rising up on his knees. Roxanne moves to sit on the bed in front of him and he reaches back to unzip his trousers.

She reaches for the top of them, and then pauses, looks up at his face.

"Yeah?" she says.

"Yeah," Megamind says softly, still smiling, "yeah, go ahead."

(he can hear their storm, still, above the Lair, the sound of thunder rumbling and rain hitting the roof.)

Here, in his room, Roxanne pushes the material of his trousers down, past his hips.

* * *

 _...to be continued._


	6. Chapter 6

"Beautiful," Roxanne says, her gaze sliding over his body like a caress.

Megamind feels himself blushing, desire and gratification and shyness mixed together.

The air is cool against the heated skin of his sex; his tentacles are still retracted, but the ventral slit that holds them is flushed and slick with arousal. He stays like he is for a long moment, letting Roxanne look at him, and then he shifts, lying back on his elbows and untucking his legs, allowing Roxanne pull his trousers all the way off.

"God, look at you," Roxanne murmurs, doing just that, and Megamind feels himself blushing even harder, "you're gorgeous."

Megamind swallows and parts his legs for her a bit more. Roxanne takes a sharp breath and stares at him. The expression in her face is—god, he's never been looked at like this before.

He can actually see how much she wants him; he can see that she means it, really means it when she says he's gorgeous, that she truly thinks he's beautiful and desirable. Roxanne thinks that about him.

"Can I touch you?" she asks.

"Please," Megamind says, breathlessly, "please touch me, Roxanne, yes."

She reaches for him, rests two fingers just above the top of his slit, and strokes her thumb up the seam of it.

The sensation is completely overwhelming and absolutely indescribable; it sweeps through him like a wave crashing. He's distantly aware of the noise he makes, high and sharp and breathless as his spine arches.

Roxanne presses the whole palm of her hand flat against his sex and he pushes up into the touch—oh god, her hand is so warm; his sex is heated with arousal and her skin is still so much warmer.

She's watching him, her lips flushed and slightly parted, her eyes on his face.

"This is good, right?" she asks. "Is this good, Megamind?"

"Please—yes—oh god—" Megamind says as she shifts her hand, tracing down the edge of his ventral slit with just a single fingertip.

He shudders, hands tightening around the fistfuls of sheets he's grabbed, as she traces up the other side.

"You're so responsive," she murmurs.

"I'm—pretty sure that's—ah—all you," Megamind says, trying to control the tremors of his body as she rubs her thumb in small circles all the way around the seam of him. "It's—oh—it's never been—anywhere near this good—no matter how hard I tried to imagine—ah—"

"Have you imagined this?" Roxanne says, stroking down him with her entire hand—palm first, then fingers, a slow gliding drag of pleasure.

"I—" Megamind swallows, "I have entire fantasies about your hands, too, Roxanne."

She looks incredibly pleased to hear that and Megamind shivers again at her expression.

"Really?" she says, voice warm and only slightly teasing as she strokes three fingers up his sex, "About me doing this?"

"Ah—yes—yes, and—" Megamind swallows, feels heat rise to his cheeks, "—and sort of…like what you were talking about earlier—with your fingers inside of me?"

"Can I?" Roxanne asks, and it's impossible to mistake the eagerness and wanting in her expression for anything else.

"Yes," he says softly, "yes, please."

She's touching him with her right hand; her left one is on the bed, near his hip, supporting her as she leans over him. Megamind reaches out with his right hand and touches the back of her hand, slips his fingers into the spaces between hers.

The sound of the rain on the roof is a distant murmur in the background. It makes Megamind feel, somehow, protected, safe, as if the two of them are separated from the rest of the world by the curtains of rain.

Roxanne dips her head a little and presses a kiss to his bent knee, then smiles at him and slides one of her fingers into him, slow and gentle.

"—oh," Megamind gasps, "—oh—"

He's done this before, of course, his own fingers slipping into his body, and he knows how good it feels but this—this is so much better. An entire universe worth of better; Roxanne pressing a second finger into him, the heat of her, the sensation, the knowledge that she's actually inside of him.

Megamind makes an absolutely incoherent noise, back arching as he pushes himself up further onto her hand.

"Oh my god," Roxanne says. "Oh my god, you're so sexy like this."

She pushes another finger into him and Megamind gasps out her name as she begins to move her hand, her fingers thrusting into him, a rhythmic drag and slide.

The glorious, warm, stretching feeling of being filled with her fingers, the way they brush past the tentacles still retracted inside his ventral slit, teasing them, the way she's looking at him, watching herself doing this to him, with him, watching him react—it all tangles up beautifully together in his body, in his mind, pleasure gradually coiling and building.

Roxanne's hair is in her face again, the ends of it brushing her cheeks, falling in her eyes as she watches him.

She's so beautiful, so amazing, so perfect. How—how can she be looking at him like this?

"I—" Megamind says, pushing himself up onto his elbows, "—do— you want—my—my tentacles—do you want me to…?"

Roxanne's eyes light up even more, her fingers giving a light, quick flutter inside him that makes Megamind gasp with pleasure.

"Yes," she says, fingers slipping out of him, then sliding, slick and wet, over his ventral slit in a caress. "Show me, Megamind; I want to see you."

The words, the touch, her expression—it's enough; Megamind takes a shaky breath and lets is internal abdominal muscles relax.

His ventral slit relaxes, too, widens, and his tentacles emerge.

"Oh, wow," Roxanne says, breathless and wondering, and Megamind feels his heart pulse hard with joy.

He laughs softly, and Roxanne gives him an inquiring glance.

"You are incapable of being properly menaced, Miss Ritchi," he says, biting his lip and smiling.

Roxanne rolls her eyes expressively.

"Oh dear me; how terrifying, whatever shall I do," she says, absolutely deadpan, and he laughs again.

She smirks at him, eyes and mouth wicked, then leans down without warning and licks him, her tongue dragging, slick and hot, over his tentacles.

Megamind falls back onto the bed again with a wordless cry, trying to keep the movement of his tentacles under control, trying not to shove them into the wet heat of her mouth. She kisses the base of one of his tentacles, then sucks lightly at it, and he cries out again.

Roxanne makes a satisfied noise and pulls away enough to look up the length of his body at him.

She flicks her hair out of her face, and Megamind feels his tentacles moving restlessly, wanting her to touch them again. He forces them still. Roxanne looks down at them and draws a fingertip over one of them.

"Prehensile," she murmurs, as Megamind takes a sharp breath. "Voluntary or involuntary movement?"

"Little—little of both," Megamind says as the tentacle she's touching trembles at the sensation.

He lets it curl itself around her finger and Roxanne smiles.

"That's so cool," she says, and bends her head to take her finger into her mouth, the tentacle still twined around it.

Megamind hears himself make an inhuman noise as she bobs her head, her mouth sliding up and down, over her finger and his tentacle, her tongue flickering over both of them teasingly.

She slides her mouth off of them and he uncurls his tentacle from her finger. Roxanne gives it an affectionate kiss that makes him gasp, and then she looks up at him.

"You taste sweet, did you know that?" she says.

"I—what?" he asks.

"Sweet," she says, and licks him again. "You taste sweet."

Megamind makes a choked sound in the back of his throat and Roxanne moves her head back to regard his tentacles once more, head tilted thoughtfully, a look of avid interest on her face.

"Not exactly like sugar, but definitely sweet," she says. "Sort of a—mm—it's not cloying, it's lighter than—what's that look for?" she asks, glancing up to see him watching her.

"I—" Megamind swallows. "That expression on your—it's, um, it's really—very sexy."

She blinks.

"What expression?" she asks.

"You—you make it—when you think something's interesting," Megamind says, feeling himself flush. "When—when you have a—a puzzle, a mystery, that you want to—solve or figure out."

She smiles at him, slow and sweet, with an edge of incredulity to it.

"Do you think I look sexy when I'm thinking, Megamind?" she asks.

"Extremely," he says.

Roxanne's smile goes really brilliant at that.

"Can I try?" he asks.

Roxanne tilts her head, a wordless question.

"What you were doing," Megamind says, voice eager, "can I try that, Roxanne?"

Roxanne sits up all the way, smiling again, eyes dancing with mischief.

"Do you want to go down on me, Megamind?" she asks, voice terribly arch.

"Very much," he says.

She looks down at him and then smirks.

"Say please," she says.

"Please," Megamind says immediately, "please, Roxanne; please will you let me?"

Roxanne laughs, a sound of pure delight.

"You are," she says, "the best thing ever, you know that? Yes, you absolutely can."

She moves to lie on the bed beside him, leaning in to kiss his cheek. Megamind turns his head and brushes their lips together before sitting up and looking down at her.

There's so much of her skin on display—a deliberate display, for him—everywhere he's ever imagined kissing her: the place where her neck and shoulder meet, the pulse point beneath the corner of her jaw, the dip of her waist above her hipbone.

Megamind bends down, sliding one hand behind her neck, and kisses down the side of her throat the way he's wanted to for so long. Roxanne shivers and arches her neck for him, her own hand reaching up to slide behind his neck, holding him lightly. She brushes her fingertips lightly over the vertebrae at the base of his neck and he shudders, then kisses her shoulder, her clavicle, the center of her chest, and then, on an impulse, the tip of one of her breasts.

A gasp at that; he remembers the sounds she made when he had his hand there, earlier, and licks experimentally. Roxanne makes a low murmuring sound of approval, her fingers tightening on the back of his neck, so Megamind presses an open mouthed kiss to her breast, using his lips and his tongue both. She makes an absolutely thrilling sound at that, her back arching.

He presses a kiss to the underside of her breast, then her ribcage, then the curve of her hip, as he moves onwards, until he's positioned much like Roxanne was earlier, lying between her legs.

Megamind glances up at her and as their eyes meet, Roxanne takes a sharp breath.

She stretches out one hand and places her fingertips lightly on the top of his head, her expression terribly open all of a sudden.

"Roxanne?" he asks, a little uncertainly.

She places the palm of her hand on the top of his head and smiles at him.

"You," she says, "I'm with—this is actually _you_."

Megamind smiles up at her.

"Definitely me," he says, "Megamind—incredibly handsome criminal genius."

Roxanne laughs.

"And master of all villainy," she finishes for him. "You're such a dork."

He grins at her and turns his head to press a kiss to the inside of her thigh.

"Now—let me see if I can figure this out," he murmurs, and leans down.

"—oh," Roxanne says, hand sliding from the top of his head to the back of it, the move sending a ripple of pleasure through him.

The taste of her is—entirely unique and difficult to describe, something like the salt tang of ocean water, but not exactly—it's—

—it's fucking divine, is what it is, and she's so soft beneath his tongue when he licks her, against his lips when he kisses her, and she's here, with him, in his bed, gasping and making gorgeous, breathless little noises, saying his name, god, Roxanne is letting him do this.

He can hear her breathing picking up, can feel her legs beginning to tremble, her fingers starting to clutch at the curve of his head.

"—w-wait—ah—I need—"

Megamind stops, looks up at her.

"—closer—come here—I need you closer—" she says, voice desperate and uneven, pulling at his shoulder.

He does what she wants immediately, moving to lie beside her, and she leans in to kiss him, hard and deep. Megamind kisses her back, letting his hand slide through her hair and then down her neck, her body, all of her skin so soft and warm beneath his palm.

Roxanne catches his wrist and guides his hand down between her legs. She gasps when he touches her, breaking the kiss to look at him.

Her fingers move with his, showing them how to touch her, and she feels just as fantastic against his fingertips as she did beneath his tongue, and when she moans, he can't help but moan with her.

She slides her leg over his, bringing them closer together and takes her hand from his, tangling it in his tentacles.

"—ah—"

Roxanne kisses him again.

It feels—

The pleasure of everything blends together, blurred edges and the sound of rain and Roxanne.

He eases out of the kiss this time to lean their foreheads together and Roxanne pushes his fingers aside and guides his tentacles to touch her instead.

"Roxanne—"

"Yes," she says, "yes."

She places her hand on his chest, pushes lightly and he rolls over onto his back for her, pulling her with him, to lie atop him, all of her body pressed against his, her forearms on either side of his head. And she kisses him, rolls her hips as he moves his tentacles and—

"—yes," she says again, breaking the kiss and looking down into his face, her expression soft-edged with pleasure as his tentacles move against her and—god—inside of her—

Megamind winds one arm around her waist as she continues to move her hips, the movement slow and almost languid.

He looks up into her face in wonder, pleasure spreading through him, warm and sweet.

Her hair has fallen across her eyes again; Megamind reaches up with his free hand and brushes it aside, touches the curve of her cheek.

Roxanne cries out softly, the motions of her hips going uneven and Megamind keeps his eyes fixed on her face, memorizing her expression as she comes for him.

The movement of her hips slows, finally stops and she looks down at him, panting for breath. And then she smiles at him, and laughs, softly, and the sound of that, the feeling of her laughing in his arms, pressed against him, with him inside of her—

Megamind gasps, his own climax washing through him, rhythmic convulsions of pleasure like the sound of Roxanne's laughter.

Even before it's over, he's moving, turning the two of them over so that Roxanne is underneath him. She gives another little laugh at that, into his mouth as he kisses her again. The sound turns to one of surprise as he continues moving his hips, rolling them the way she did before. He moves to kiss her jaw, the beauty mark at the corner of her mouth, her cheek. Roxanne puts her hand on the back of his neck, catching his mouth with hers again, her other arm wrapping around his back.

She slides her hand from the back of his neck to his jaw and Megamind eases out of the kiss to look at her face—god, she's so beautiful, so amazing and good; he loves her so much, loves her—

"I love you," she says. "God, Megamind, I love you—"

"oh—" Megamind gasps, and pleasure sweeps through him for the second time, washing away everything except her, "—Roxanne—Roxanne—"

When he comes back to himself, he's panting for breath, eyes closed, his face pressed to Roxanne's hair. She makes a quiet humming sound, and strokes her hand up and down his spine. Megamind shivers and pushes himself up on shaky arms.

He feels—he feels strangely shy and terribly vulnerable as he looks into her face.

(very conscious of his nakedness, all of a sudden, in a way he hadn't been just a moment before; unable to forget the loss of his control in front of her as he came both times; and he had no idea if he'd done any of that right—)

"—was that okay?" he asks, voice uncertain.

Roxanne smiles at him, love and laughter at the edges of it.

"That was _fantastic_ ," she says.

She pushes herself up to kiss him and the uncertainty in Megamind's heart turns into joy.

* * *

Megamind shifts sleepily, consciousness coming back slowly as he wakes.

He blinks, thoughts slow and muted, like something heard underwater—always so disconcerting, waking up from a nap in the middle of the day, not sure what time it is or what he's been—

—dreaming about.

Dreaming.

His heart falls.

Oh.

(he'd been dreaming; Roxanne in his arms smiling up at him and saying that she loves him and of course he'd only been dreaming about—)

There's a quiet noise beside him.

Megamind freezes, then looks over at—

Roxanne is lying next to him, asleep still, her hair lying on her cheeks and on his pillow and he hadn't been dreaming; she's here; it did happen and she—

Loves him.

Megamind presses a hand to his mouth, holding back a sudden overjoyed laugh, not wanting to wake Roxanne.

Who loves him. Roxanne loves him.

Roxanne makes a soft noise and shifts closer to him, and, carefully, so carefully, Megamind slips his arm around her, so that he's holding her.

He grins elatedly, thoughts beginning to spark and dance through his mind, a new plan evolving.

He'll need to talk to Minion—and to Wayne, too, about the business partnering thing, and also maybe about the Metro-Man-possibly-retiring thing—Megamind has two Get Out of Jail Free cards that he can cash in if he needs to, and—and maybe Roxanne will want to stay for dinner, maybe she'll want to stay the night—

—oh, he likes this plan; he likes it very much.

Megamind closes his eyes, still smiling.

He'll ask Roxanne what she thinks about the new plan when she wakes up.

* * *

The End.

* * *

notes: Thank you for all of the reviews; I really appreciate them. I hope you all enjoyed the conclusion of the story!


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